The Good:
I've gone over before how I often look at the covers and titles of mixtapes when trying to decide what mixtapes to look at. This, of course, applies to Million Dollar Afro. I've always greatly enjoyed afros. In fact, in fifth grade, I used to put a massive amount of mousse in my hair and I tried to shape my hair in the form of an afro. Needless to say, it was extremely unsuccessful. So now I just obsess over them, instead. And that led me to Problem & Iamsu!
If you've heard of Problem & Iamsu!, it's most likely because you're either a fan of theirs or you heard them on a Wiz Khalifa track. The duo from California is a frequent collaborator of Khalifa and was even featured on Cabin Fever 2 (the song, "Bout Me," is also featured on Million Dollar Afro). And after seeing Iamsu!'s afro, it's not hard to tell why. It's a pretty great afro. (Also, both smoke a vast amount of weed. That helps, too.) Just check it out in the title track's smokey music video.
The duo focuses on stoner music. As I've gone over in the past, stoner music is very hit and miss. Curren$y manages to make good stoner music, but Wiz has been struggling to do so as of late. And Million Dollar Afro is just as hit-and-miss.
"100 Grand" is one of those hits. For one, it has one of the harder beats on the album, compiled of hard bass lines, claps and synths that get the head bobbing. It's even nicer when Problem & Iamsu! and the features of Kool John and Juvenille go in on it. Problem and Kool John have the hottest verses as Problem spits, "Wood on the dashboard / All about the cash, board / Make the money fast forward / Make your bitch give me that like her ass forward" and Kool John raps, "We're fucking with my cash, man you're fucking with your life / I ain't saying I'm a theif, but a nigga fuck your wife."
 |
| T-Pain called. He wants his auto-tune back. And some work. |
The title track, shortened as "MDA," is one of the misses. All the potential is there, with an exciting beat that gets the listener pumped up and some nice verses from Iamsu! But the song features over-saturated Auto-Tune. If it was limited to just the chorus, or if it was 2010, it wouldn't be as bad. But the Auto-Tune manages to make its way into the verses and that's just too much auto-tune in 2013.
Million Dollar Afro is far from perfect and features a few straight-up stupid songs that are hard to listen to, but the mixtape is saved by the hits like "Knock It Off" and "Hunnits."
The Bad:
The bad category is always the hardest to decide. It's not like the re-dic-yu-lus because it's not pointing out the blatantly bad, and it's not like the good because it's not giving praise. Sometimes, it's just adequate--not good and not horrible. This is one of those times.
Krondon's Everything's Nothing is alright. That's really the perfect way to describe it. He does some things right--he focuses on real topics and the beats are for the most part pretty good--but he also does some things very poorly.
Take the song "I'm Moving" for example. Krondon's probably at his best in some aspects of the song. For one, it has a catchy, somber/sweet chorus of, "I'm moving all my work today." And the song is about moving all of the supplies you have in order to make more money to support those around you. It's a topic heard many times before, but quality nonetheless.
 |
| Should've read more of this guy. |
But all of this is rendered pointless because Krondon just doesn't deliver in other aspects. Krondon's main challenge is rhyming, surprisingly. Of course he can rhyme, but he mostly sticks to simplistic singular syllable rhyme schemes that seem forced. "Diamonds are forever / And this rhymer's kind of clever / Watch him turn crack rocks into cheddar" is actually one of his better lines, but the delivery around it isn't smooth at all.
Imagine if Kendrick Lamar wasn't so complex in Good Kid, M.A.A.D. City. What if he didn't have a song where he was rapping from the perspective of a teenager? Or if he dropped the comic relief provided by his parents' phone calls? Or if he didn't take the role of those who left his life in "Sing About Me, I'm Dying of Thirst?" What would Good Kid, M.A.A.D. City be then? It's not just good enough to have an interesting backstory and some good beats. In fact, it might be harder. Because that means you have to truly deliver in order to tell your story as best as it can be told.
Guys like Problem & Iamsu! have it easier. They just rap about weed and have a good time. As long as you have good beats and your rhymes are good, you're set. But Krondon has to do more because he has more to say. He just doesn't do enough on Everything's Nothing.
The Re-dic-yu-lus:
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! You thought I forgot, didn't you? My confusing intro and title threw you off, didn't it? I would never forget about you, Cheeseheads. I may not have gotten you guys chocolate or flowers or a fancy candle-lit dinner, but I did get you a horrible mixtape. I know you all so well, don't I?
Sadly, St. Valentine's Day Massacre isn't a very good Valentine's Day mixtape. There's no love-making R. Kelly, Barry White-type songs. It's actually quite violent. You probably should have guessed that from the word "massacre" in the title, but if you didn't, now you know.
So, to make up for giving you a violent mixtape instead of a sexy one, I'll give you some cards. Stack That Cheese cares.
 |
 |
You know what's harder than dinosaur bites, though? Listening to G FELLA's song "City Boy." (That transition doe.) Think of the most famous song that has the phrase "city boy" in it. If you guessed "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey, you're right! Your prize is another awesome Valentine's Day card right after this paragraph! (And if you didn't guess correctly, well, you'll still see the card, but only because I'm nice.) Now imagine it poorly sampled and you'll have "City Boy."
"City Boy" is about how G FELLA apparently grew up in a small town where "everybody knows everybody." How he portrays it, though, is just crazy. "Ice makes your wrist numb / Gold digger chicks come / Neighborhood chicks come / Beat them gold diggers up," he says. He then goes on to talk about how the cops didn't mess with him and his crew and just basically lists the people who lived there, before ending the song by shouting, "That's the city! That's the city I live in!" He clearly lived in quite the city.
I honestly don't know what to say about G FELLA's St. Valentine's Day Massacre. It's honestly horrible and isn't even as laughable as some of the other re-dic-yu-lus mixtapes of Stack That Cheese past. With that being said, it still made my Valentine's Day more enjoyable, and I hope it made yours better, too, Cheeseheads.
No comments:
Post a Comment