Stack Those Views

Before I get into this week's Stack That Cheese, I just wanted to proudly announce that STC has reached five figures, now sporting over 10,000 views and counting. And in less than a year, too. It's a little sappy--something I try to stay away from while writing about hardcore gangsters--but I just want to thank everyone who's ever viewed my blog. Even those perverts who end up here due to an Alexis Texas search gone wrong.

The Good:

MeLo-X - GOD:WiFi

MeLo-X has just made history on Stack That Cheese! After last week's Better Off Dead from the Flatbush Zombies, MeLo-X's appearance in "The Good" column marks the first time (probably) that two residents from the same community appeared back-to-back on STC.

If that wasn't enough of a hint, MeLo-X is a rapper and producer out of Flatbush, Brooklyn, same as the Zombies. Unlike the Zombies, MeLo-X is a one-man act and manages to make some pretty complex sounds all by himself, with a little help from features and guest producers here and there.

WiFi is more like an EP than a full-length album, but that doesn't limit MeLo from showing off his range.

MeLo relies a lot on electronic sounds that sound like a mix between ASAP Rocky and Flying Lotus. 

"Rich Man" is an example of this. It starts off with a simple electronic bass line before adding some funky synths and a kick-ass drum kit.

Little Simz

MeLo doesn't just hide behind his production, either. He has a pretty great flow that fluctuates between freaky fast and just slow enough to add emphasis to his words. Plus, London-rapper Little Simz stops by to add an even more distinguishable verse. It's not too often you can find a hard-hitting British female emcee, but Little Simz is the exception and it's fantastic.

And "Finer Things" is a diverse track that goes from soothing electronic to ASAP-like hazy rap. Plus, a beautiful songstress by the name of Elle Pierre comes by for an enchanting hook.

There are some songs produced by others that keep up with the general theme of Wifi, such as "Customs," produced by  D. Bridge. The track has a quick hi-hat beat mixed with some spooky background noise that sounds like Timbaland tried his hand at producing the Luigi's Haunted Mansion music.

On "Customs," MeLo sings instead of rapping, and even though he's no Frank Ocean, he still manages to keep up and keep the song interesting.

WiFi's biggest fault is probably that it's just seven songs long, which leaves the listener aching for more. But in those seven songs, MeLo-X manages to add a large contribution to the reincarnation of the New York hip-hop scene.

The Bad:

Cash Out - Ya Feel Me?

I got lucky with this one, honestly. I was just about to head to Datpiff for a bad mixtape. It's been a pretty calm mixtape week thus far, but when I went back to Hot New Hip-Hop's home page, there was this beautifully corny mixtape cover and I knew I was saved.

Cash Out is an Atlanta rapper that clearly likes being known by an action. You might know Cash (also written as Ca$h) from his hit single "Cashin' Out," a song with a repetitive beat and dumbed down lyrics.

Unsurprisingly, Ya Feel Me?  is just more of that, except maybe a little less catchy.

Pull-Up, don't turn up

"Pull Up" is an example of that poor formula. The beat is boring, mostly consisting of Inception-like horns and heavy bass. And the lyrics are just ridiculously stupid, even in the hook. "If a nigga pay you know we bout to pull up / I've been in money since I was in Pull-Ups," raps Cash Out. Although, he deserves at least some credit for being the first rapper of all time to mention Pull-Ups.

"Movie" might be one of the better produced tracks on Ya Feel Me? With a predominately piano-based beat and a little bit of strings, "Movie" just feels more legitimate. It's still repetitive except for a bass breakdown, but by Cash Out standards, it's not bad.

That doesn't mean the lyrics are any better, though. By "Movie," Cash Out means sex tape and he mostly just sings (poorly, I might add) about threesomes and other sexual acts.

The most surprising thing about Ya Feel Me? is that it's mostly just Cash Out. There are only two features on the whole mixtape, and neither of them are important enough to mention. For someone who's worked with Wale before, you would think Cash Out could get some bigger names for his mixtape.

Ya Feel Me? is far from a good debut. For someone new on the scene, you would hope Cash Out would make better use of his 15 minutes of fame. But based on this release, it seems his 15 minutes are up.

The Re-dic-yu-lus:

Soulja Boy - 23

YES! Stack That Cheese is only a few episodes into its second season, but I still thought Soulja Boy and/or Lil B would have made an appearance by now. But I guess it's better late than never.

I probably shouldn't be admitting this, but as soon as I saw Soulja's new mixtape, I automatically penciled it in as re-dic-yu-lus. I mean, it of course turned out to be. But that says something about Soulja Boy that his mixtape being bad is as certain as death and taxes.

"Jackie Chan" has to be one of my favorite bad songs on 23. The beat is made up of some weird piano-y synths and some heavy bass. The hook is just Soulja Boy saying "Kill shit like Jackie Chan" in a way that it sounds like "kishit like Jackie Chan." And Soulja Boy even disses 2 Chainz! "Three chains on my neck, but not in my name," he says, calling out one of the most prolific rappers at the moment.

"But Xavier," you might say, "I love Jackie Chan and all, but I really hate that new Karate Kid with him in it. Is there anything on 23 that might appeal to the original Karate Kid fanboy in my heart?'

Crank this / Crank that

Well, that's a really specific question, voice inside my head. Luckily for you, there totally is. Thanks to Soulja Boy, you can now wax on and wax off in style to his song "Mr. Miyagi." Every Karate Kid fan will love hearing Soulja Boy rapping, "Tattoos on my neck / Tattoos on my chest / Riding through the hood and I feel like I'm the best" right before he goes into a hook repeating "Mr. Miyagi" and "wax on / wax off."

And just because Soulja Boy is an Oriental god, he decided to do a song called "Japanese," too. I don't even get the logic behind this song. He seems to think that enough lean can lead to "niggas talking Japanese." Is this like an epiphany thing? Like, the Holy Spirit comes to him in his lean and encourages speaking tongues? Like, what?

Honestly, "Japanese" barely even has lyrics. I don't know how to quote Soulja Boy off this track because he mostly just says "lean," "g's," "Japanese" and "jeans" a lot. With the occasional "konichiwa," of course, so you know he can indeed speak Japanese.

I truly missed Soulja Boy. Outside of Lil B, he's basically my favorite to cover. And if anyone deserves thanks for STC getting to the big 10k, it's Soulja Boy. So thanks, Soulja Boy. I'll crank that in your honor.

-X-Prime, dropping the mic for now

@XavierVeccia

Season 2

Last season on Stack That Cheese: Our main character Xavier Alan Solomon Veccia was busy judging the heroes and demons of hip-hop with his mighty keyboard (which is mightier than the pen, which is mightier than the sword. So, his keyboard is pretty freaking mighty). And then Walt and Jesse got in a fight (in which Jesse dropped the word "bitch" multiple times). Oh wait, wrong show. Anyway, Stack That Cheese is back and it feels so good. Speaking of good...

The Good:

Audio Push - Come as You Are

Audio Push opens up the second season well with a great release in Come as You Are.

Audio Push is a Cali duo credited with the invention of twerking. As an expert jerker, I owe all of my life to these two.

Audio Push brings some great lyricism to Come as You Are. Take the song “Tis the Season,” which features a bass-heavy beat, but the stringed kind, not the boom-boom-bat kind. It gives it an old-school flare, made stronger with the new-school old-school mastermind Joey Bada$$'s feature on the track. Joey is a lyrical mastermind himself--one of the best in the game.

"You're a jerk / I know, girls tell me all the time"

But where Come as You Are really flourishes is in the beats accompanying Audio Push's lyrics. The self-titled first track of the album is the perfect example. The Key-Wane-produced track combines the turntable scratches and vinyl-textured aspects of old with the A$AP-like trippiness and synths of new. Not to mention some nice lines, such as, “I guess we're just outcasts / Can you smell the stank on ya.”

Alice, take a hit of this. We're listening
to Audio Push

And “Rowdy A” has an Alice in Wonderland, Dumbo-like trippy-ass Disney flare with an insanely heavy bass. The Hit-Boy-produced track is an incredibly creative song that stands out in current hip-hop.

But Audio Push can also do bangers, as shown on “Theme Song.” Once again produced by Hit Boy, “Theme Song,” has a slightly creepy piano line mixed with some great bass before breaking down (or breaking up, if you prefer) to a heavy string line. The song also features a catchy verse from TI.

Just about every song on Just as You Are has a creative beat that's perfect for both headphone and riding music. With help from artists like Wale, Lil Wayne, K. Roosevelt and James Faulteroy, Audio Push puts together a great release.

The Bad:

Project Pat - Cheez N Dope 2

If Audio Push rises with the creativity surrounding its beats, Project Pat falters with the lack of it.

When I saw Project Pat's name, I knew I had to get Cheez N Dope 2. I knew I had to check it out. For one, who the hell uses the term “cheese” anymore, let alone this horrible misspelling of it? But more importantly, the only song by Pat I had in my iTunes library was from my days before I became such a hip-hop connoisseur (flips hair). It's a ridiculously bad song called “Don't Call Me No More” featuring Three 6 Mafia.

And Project Pat doesn't disappoint in the slightest.

Most of the beats are pretty basic. With slight bass and ghetto synths, these beats could be just about any other generic rapper's mixtape.

This is shown with some of his features. The song “Gettin Cash” features Juicy J, who doesn't waste any time before promoting his album Stay Trippy. I mean, I guess a shameful promo on another rapper's track is better than his stripper-themed game on his own website. (I lied. The Stay Strippy game is absolutely

perfect.)

But "Gettin Cash" is bad enough that promoting his own album on it might not even be good for Juicy. The beat is tired and the lyrics are way too plain. I mean, with a chorus featuring the line, "I fuck bitches / I bust guns / I sip lean / I smoke down my lungs / But getting cash is what I do best," can you really expect much else?

And that bitch-fucking, lean-sipping smoker theme is found all throughout the album. From the mixtape-opening "Real Killas Don't Talk" to the Wiz Khalifa-featuring "Chiefin." Plus, Project Pat can't seem to spell a word correctly for the life of him, so that doesn't help either.

Pat even squanders a perfectly good opportunity with the song "Weed Smoke" featuring Mac Miller. Mac Miller's one of the most creative rappers in the game right now, but he's forced to rap over another same-old-same-old beat. While the track is admittedly pretty catchy, it still just wastes the talents of Mac.

I think it's safe to say that Project Pat's new mixtape is more Cheez than Dope. *drops the mic* 

The Re-dic-yu-lus:

Pyes - Pyes & Pounds

When I saw Pyes' name, the first thing I though of was pies. But then I decided that no rapper would be so stupid to name himself after pies. And then I saw the album cover with a pie on it. Now my whole world has fallen apart and I don't know what to believe anymore.

Based on my first impression, though, pecan Pyes seems pretty ridiculous. And I LOVE that.

Blackberry Pyes keeps the spelling errors going with the track "Get Enuff." Only when you listen to sweet potato Pyes, it's not surprising he can't spell. According to apple Pyes, "Bitches hate me / Police hate me," but don't worry because it's "coooo." And this is "all cuz a nigga tried so hard / ever since a nigga dropped out of school."

Dr. Seuss ain't got nothing on Pyes

Then comes the song "Wreckless," which features a ghetto-ass beat that goes on way too long (a.k.a. thirty seconds) before cherry Pyes starts rapping. And when blueberry Pyes does start rapping, he becomes a sketchy Dr. Seuss: "Got plenty racks in my safe / Got plenty racks and I pounce / Got plenty racks in my house." And his "nigga" is wreckless because he'll "eat you like wreckless". Ladies and gentleman, Theodor Pyesel.

French silk Pyes continues his horribleness throughout the album, and it's so bad it's honestly great. In fact, I want to thank sweet potato Pyes for starting off the year with a truly re-dic-yu-lus mixtape. He's the reason why I do this.

-X-Prime, dropping the mic for now

@xprime_time

Let's Get Ig'nant

Wazzup, Cheeseheads? You wanna know wazzup with me? I've been sick all week, totally unmotivated and not looking forward to finals week one bit. But I don't want your sympathy. No, no, no. What I want is to just mess around. I just want to have fun. And the best way to have fun is to go ig'nant to some ig'nant rappers. So with this post, you will not find one good rapper, just rappers who make me feel ig'nant. (If you're counting at home, that's already four uses of "ig'nant" used in this post. I'm not saying this post has to turn into a drinking game, but if it does, that would be pretty freaking awesome.)

The Good (a.k.a. The Best of the Ign'ant):

Kid Ink - Rocketshipshawty

Kid Ink is still relatively underground, but he's started amassing a pretty decent following. I've had quite a few people tell me to start listening to him. I'm still not a huge fan of his, but when I'm in an ig'nant mood, he's not half-bad.

Let's start with "Badass." It's the second track in the album and, with the title of "Badass," it better be pretty ig'nant. And it lives up to the hype! There seems to be a growing trend among rappers to sing their own hooks without even trying to sound good. They don't take voice lessons or carry around a pitch pipe or anything like that. They just sing in their regular voice. And even though this sounds horrible even as I write this, I kinda like it. And "Badass" is the perfect example of the trend, as Ink sings about how he "sees just what you're doing with your bad-ass on."

Then there's "Ghost," which is by far the creepiest song on the mixtape. It has a haunting female voice in the background of some funky synths that is just way too scary, especially when Ink basically whispers some of his lyrics. Plus, the opening line "I think I'm 'bout to go ghost / Casper on these niggas" brings up both the memories of Casper and Danny Phantom, and that's pretty sweet.

But Ink saves his most ig'nant for the bonus track, a remix of his biggest single, "Hell & Back." If you've only heard one Kid Ink song, it was probably this one. The remix is fundamentally the same, with the same beat and chorus. The biggest difference is new verses. The first from Kid Ink, featuring this awesome line: "We ain't going nowhere like wine stains." The second verse is from the king of ig'nant himself, Machine Gun Kelly. Many know him from that "Wild Boy" song, and fellow Ohio University students remember him from this. I want to quote MGK, but I feel the only way to take in his ig'nant-ness is by listening to his whole verse.

The Bad (a.k.a. Maybe A Little Too Ig'nant):

Tyga - 187

Way back when, all the way in the year 2008, a young artist burst onto the scene with a song featuring his cousin Travie McCoy (at that point, he was still Travis) of Gym Class Heroes. That song was "Coconut Juice" and that rapper was none other than Tyga. This was when Tyga was "clean," meaning he didn't swear and probably didn't produce porn. He also made songs like this:

Now Tyga is one of the scariest rappers in the game. Despite being skinny as a twig, no one would dare mess with him. But that doesn't make him a good rapper. And 187 just proves once again how bad of a rapper he is.

187 was meant to coincide with Tyga's single with Rick Ross, which is really a ridiculous thing to do. And the mixtape clearly takes a hit because of it. Most of the songs are just reused beats with Tyga's take on it.

"Swimming Pools" is one of those songs. The beat is of course stolen from Kendrick Lamar's song of the same title. What bothers me here is that not only does he steal the beat, but he also steals the original rapper's flow. And when you're taking someone like Kendrick Lamar's flow, which is probably one of the most unique flows of the new millennium, then you're probably going to sound horrible while doing it. And he does.

But he doesn't stop at just stealing one beat per track. On "Clique/Fuckin' Problem," Tyga raps over the track from Cruel Summer and then the ASAP Rocky song. Why not just separate them into two different songs? On the "Clique" half of the song, he opens up by rapping, "Ain't nobody fucking with my clique / I'm T-Raw, young nigga, I'm the shit," but he says "clique" in such a way that it sounds like another word starting with "cli" and ending with a "t." He also brags about making "a milli off a porno flic." Then it just randomly transitions into "Fuckin' Problem." And just like last week, I'm going to have to complain about someone stealing ASAP Rocky's deep voice effect! This is the problem with stealing other's flows. It just ends up looking stupid. And Tyga does well at looking stupid.

The Re-dic-yu-lus (a.k.a. Way Too Fucking Ig'nant):

Papoose - Most Hated Alive

I've spent all day trying to figure out how I knew Papoose. I knew that there was some place where I've seen that name, but I couldn't figure it out. Luckily, we have Wikipedia in this day and age. And thanks to Wikipedia, I figured it out: Busta Rhymes' remix of "Touch It."

You wanna see an ig'nant video? That right up there is an ig'nant video. Also, it's quite fitting that the one thing I've heard from Papoose is in a song in which he says "re-dic-yu-lus" and now he is re-dic-lus.

I really had to look no further than the title track to realize it. Once again, it's a cover of "Clique." I mean, it's a good song and all, but not good enough for every rapper and their grandmother to use it on their mixtape. At least Papoose brings his own flow, but that doesn't help much. My favorite line has to be, "If you ain't a pussy than why you so moist?"

I can't even overlook a feature from Kendrick Lamar on the song "Lyrical Gangsta." It is a fantastic verse, but it's over an awkward-feeling electronic-heavy beat. And it's quickly forgotten once Papoose chimes in. He's just so in-your-face when it comes to rapping. You feel like you have to turn the volume down every time he comes on. And that's just a bit too ig'nant for me.

Well, there were 16 uses of "ig'nant" in this post. Hopefully, there's at least one person out there reading this on Thirsty Thursday and getting way too hammered. That's all I want in life.

-- Xavier Veccia, dropping the mic for now.

@xprime_time

Slowing It Down

This was a slow-ass week for mixtapes. Like, really freaking slow. The "Good" mixtape has been downloaded a total of fifty times thus far, and one of those is from me.

To put this week in perspective, B.o.B's new mixtape, Fuck 'Em We Ball, came out just hours before this was posted, which was too late to be considered for this week's post. And yet it already has just as many downloads as every mixtape covered this week combined.

But that doesn't mean the mixtapes aren't worthy of being covered. That just means this week's post is filled with artists that many, including yours truly, have never heard of before. That's Stack That Cheese, for you: always keeping it fresh.

The Good:

Rubixx - To The Third

Right off the bat, this mixtape sounds mathematical. Not in the lame multiplication table way, but the cool way they say it on Adventure Time. (Do I get any extra street cred for referencing a children's cartoon? No? I didn't think so.)

Rubixx is a rap trio from Massachusetts that describes itself as having "unique instrumentals and lyrics," and I have to say I agree with them.

"Join the Rubixx covenant / And I'm loving it, I use it like an oven mitt / My hand is in the flame and I can tell I'm truly touching it."

That line was from the third track, "Day Dream." When I heard it, I was already pretty impressed with the trio's rhymes on the debut mixtape, but that line made it so that I had to include them this week.

And the trio continues to impress throughout the entire mixtape.

"Persephony" might be my favorite off To The Third. It's a love song with a string-based beat. There are some good lines, such as "Let's relight the candle and let it melt into our hands," but where the song really shines is the fluency between the three rappers: Gabe Thompson, Ari Wrubel and Phil Dumont. With something as personal as a love song, you would think changing from person to person for each verse would cause some emotion to be lost in the process, but that's just not true when it comes to Rubixx.

If I have one gripe about To The Third it would be that the hooks are really just mediocre. But the trio's rhymes and fluency makes this a non-issue. At the very least, this mixtape deserves more than fifty downloads.

The Bad:

Blizz - Live Your Dreams Or Die Trying

I spent a good amount of time deciding whether Live Your Dreams or Die Trying or the next mixtape belonged in the "Re-dic-yu-lus" category. Both mixtapes are pretty bad. The only difference is the subject matter.

On Live Your Dreams Or Die Trying, Blizz opens up about his past and leaves it all on his first mixtape. The other mixtape is about, well...you'll see.

While I respect Blizz for being so open and going through the stuff that he's had to deal with ("I remember those nights / When I wish I had a gun"), that doesn't mean he's a good rapper.

Blizz's biggest problem is that he's being too generic. I mean, the mixtape is called Live Your Dreams or Die Trying, for Christ's sake. Everything the man does is generic.

He uses overused rhyme schemes, such as the interchangeable life/night/knife/right rhymes.

He's got old lines, such as in "'Bout That" when he says, "Y'all niggas ain't got racks / Stop talking 'bout them stacks."

He even has cliché songs, such as "Be Yaself," in which he talks about how he "came up from nothing" and everything else you would expect in a song with a gooey title and a grammatical error.

And it's really too bad that he's so generic, because it's clear he comes from something so different. But he failed to deliver. Simple as that.

The Re-dic-yu-lus

Kyoto - Sextape

Okay, now do you see why this mixtape was saved for last?

While Blizz is busy being serious about his life, Kyoto has an album titled Sextape.

And it doesn't stop at the title. Every track on this mixtape is named after a porn star (at least that's what Google told me). So, just for the added fun of it, let's provide a picture of each song's namesake that I review (fully clothed, of course). I'll even turn Safe Search on, just for you, my Cheese Heads.

Let's start with "Alexis Texas." Strangely enough, it starts with a creepy voice-over about how greed "for lack of a better word, is good" over some marching. If this album wasn't entitled Sextape, I might look into it and try to figure out what it meant, but, as you probably know by now, Kyoto's mixtape really is called Sextape. Kyoto actually isn't a horrible rapper. He has some decent lines: "I used to be a violent adolescent / Pay attention, smoking weed because I'm always stressing." But he loses the listener with his production. Over the last 30 seconds, he starts singing about how he wants to see that "40 ounce bounce, bitch," except he adds a horrible auto-tune that sounds like it was done by that old "Sound Like T-Pain" app.

He continues using that same crappy auto-tune in the song "Brianna Love," where he raps, "I've got that Brianna Love for you / Presidential candidate Al Gore for you." He even sings in auto-tuned falsetto at one point!

And then there's "Eva Angelina," which is just a whole new level of horrible production. The song is just under two minutes long, and yet all of it is incomprehensible. That's because, for whatever reason, Kyoto thought that it would be cool to change the pitch of his voice and make it really high. But he didn't stop there. He added another recording of him, but deepened it, and made it sync up with the chipmunk recording of him. So we end up listening to both high-pitched and low-pitched Kyoto rapping together.

This is just an embarrassing go-around for Kyoto, mixing bad production with an immature theme. Plus, my Internet history looks sketchy as hell now.

Before I end this week's post, I feel it's only fair to give the ladies a little eye-candy, too. Because here at Stack That Cheese, we respect women!

You're welcome ladies. ;)

-- Xavier Veccia, dropping the mic for now.

@xprime_time

Stars and Stripes

This week has been all about America. With the election on Tuesday, America was all everybody could talk about and how one candidate or the other was probably going to take a massive dump on it if he were to win.

And all this talk about America got me all patriotic. So this week's Stack That Cheese is all about the stars, just like the American flag.

The Good:

Nelly - Scorpio Season

Everyone knows who Nelly is. You know who he is, your grandmother knows he is, even the Amish know who he is. He's one of the biggest entertainers of the 2000s. He's made hit after hit, been in movies and has made it so that if anyone says, "It's getting hot in here," someone has to respond with, "So take off all your clothes."

But in the rap community, no one's ever going to mention him in the same breath as Tupac or The Notorious B.I.G. He's a pop rapper. He's not supposed to be as legendary as them.

So why is he in the "Good" category this week?

Simple. Because Nelly shows how big a mixtape can be.

With Scorpio Season, Nelly pulls out all the stops. He's got A-list features. He's got big-producers. He treats this mixtape as if it were an album, and that shows dedication.

There's the song "MJ" featuring B.o.B (who I've always liked better on mixtapes), which was a bonus track on B.o.B's latest album, but now it's here and I'm not going to complain. Bobby Ray sings a brilliantly catchy hook and lends his unique flow to a couple verses. He even mutters the line, "Kush in my cologne, you know the aroma," which for some reason I absolutely love.

There's "GO," which is produced by Drumma Boy ("No Hands" and "Put On" are among his most popular songs). Drumma Boy incorporates a hard drum beat, piano and horns into a fantastically produced song with a hook of, "Blow the smoke in the air" sung by Nelly. (Speaking of voting and smoke: Congratulations to Colorado and Washington.)

And for whatever reason, Nelly tucks Chris Brown away in a bonus song called "Marry Go Round," which is strangely epic. Nelly and Breezy seem to be a match made in heaven and I would love to see them together again in the near future.

The dedication shows on Scorpio Season, and with the big features, it makes a good mixtape.

The Bad:

Gudda Gudda - Guddaville 3

Okay, maybe Gudda Gudda doesn't really fall under the "star" category, but the Young Money artist has connections and he calls in some favors to get them on his latest mixtape. And that's good enough for me.

But Gudda is not good enough for me. He's actually pretty bad.

Let's start with "Drank N Smoke" with big feature number one, Wiz Khalifa. Gudda makes this song as simple as it can get, with mostly one-syllable rhymes that even Lil Poopy could come up with. And am I the only one who finds it hilarious that Wiz is being a featured on yet another song about smoking and drinking, but with a title that's just a jumbled up version of his recent song "Smokin' Drink?"

Then there's "As Da World Turns" with big feature number two, Lil Wayne. I will give this to Weezy: he does sing great choruses. But his voice has layer after layer of synthesizers over it. It's sickening.

And finally there's the pièce de résistance in "I'm Gudda" with big feature number three, 2 Chainz. (I'm coming to the realization that I'm going to be hearing a lot of 2 Chainz with this blog, and I'm strangely fine with that.) With 2 Chainz and Gudda Gudda on the same track, you know there will be plenty of awful lyrics, but none of that matters because the chorus (which repeats "I'm Gudda" multiple times before Gudda Gudda says, "I got high-cholesterol / Yeah, I got that butter") is so horrendous that I don't even care that the rest of the rap is bad, too.

Gudda Gudda digs himself into so deep of a hole with this album that no amount of stars could save him.

The Re-dic-yu-lus

Soulja Boy - Young & Flexin

This rapper needs no introduction, but I'm going to have to give one anyway because it would look awkward linking to "Crank That" right away.

So I will tell a story instead. Once there was a young lad by the name of Javier Beccia (no relation to yours truly). As a freshman at an all-boy Jesuit high school, Javier had to do a report on The Odyssey. But it wasn't like he just had to write a paper. He had to put together a presentation. What would he do?

He could put together a skit with some friends. Maybe he could do an interpretive dance. Or, maybe he could just write a rap about the book to the tune of "Crank That."

And that's exactly what young Javier did. And it was perfectly fine. Even at an all-boy Jesuit high school. Because that song had become so much a part of our society at that time, that it was acceptable anywhere.

Ok, that killed time. Now let's link this bitch!

And that was the last time nearly everyone heard from Soulja Boy. Sure, there was that "Hop up out my bed / Turn my swag ooooon" song and then, of course, "Yahh!" was kind of popular. (Or was I the only one who listened to it because I found it hilarious?) But for the most part, Soulja Boy has just started releasing mixtape after mixtape, developing a low-key underground fanbase, but never really getting into the mainstream again. (That's probably a good thing, though.)

This is my first time listening to him since his heyday, too. And I have to say, he's just as bad.

Last week, I wrote about Lil B, but what I failed to mention is that, while there's no proof of it, there is a theory out there that suggests that the Based God is just pretending to be so bad for satirical reasons. And if that is the case, I'm about 99% sure Soulja is his inspiration.

"Lebron James" is the perfect example. It starts off with a chorus of, "I'm Lebron James" that, thanks to Soulja Boy's pronunciation, eventually becomes "Ollo brawn jains." And then it opens up the first verse with, "Ballin' all you fuck niggas / Fuck niggas / You fuck niggas." And it doesn't get any better.

I guess I'm happy and all for Soulja Boy that he's still around and still making music, but I wish he didn't have to ruin rap for me while he was at it. But he did grace the world with a fun dance that I am actually capable of doing, so I guess we're even

-- Xavier Veccia, dropping the mic for now.

@xprime_time

All Based Day

Welcome back, Cheeseheads (that's right, I'm sticking with it). I'm extremely excited for this week's edition!

Although I am a bit upset that this week's post came one day too late for it to be Halloween-themed, I'm just going to run with it and make it All Saints' Day-themed. Where else are you going to find a blog tying in vulgar rapping about weed and bitches with a Christian holiday? That's what I thought! Who gon' stop me, HUH?!

The Good:

Curren$y – Priest Andretti

Curren$y has always been one of those rappers who I was aware of, who I respected, but I never really listened to.

I've listened to some of his earlier stuff with Wiz Khalifa and I've heard him in multiple other rappers' songs, but in my massive iTunes library, I don't have any Curren$y mixtapes.

But, now that I have a blog where all I do is download mixtapes, I figured I might as well use this as an opportunity to get more acquainted with the 10Fest artist.

And I've got to say, he's not half bad.

Curren$y is definitely a stoner rapper, which isn't always a good thing (see Cabin Fever 2). But what usually separates a good stoner rapper from a bad stoner rapper, in my experience at least, tends to be good beats.

Just like how ASAP Rocky has built up a reputation of being one of the best rappers out right now (despite not actually being that great of a rapper) with the help of such producers as Clams Casino, Curren$y manages to do the same thing on Priest Andretti.

A lot of the beats Curren$y & co. rap over have an old-timey feel, which kind of goes with the cover.

“Motion” feat. Cornerboy P is one of the more unique tracks, with a flute-based instrumental that fuses jazz with hip-hop, and that usually turns out well.

Unfortunately, there is no information on who produced these tracks, so I can't give credit where credit is due.

But I can say that Priest Andretti is worth a listen, at the very least to hear the masterful production.

The Bad:

Chingy – Chances Make Champions

WHAAAAT?! Chingy's alive?!

That's right! Chingy is back!

Remember this little jam from back in the day?

When that song was hot, I would jam out to it all day until my bedtime in the backseat of my mommy's car while drinking apple juice out of my sippy cup.

That's obviously an over-exaggeration, but it's not too far from the truth. That song is from 2003. That's almost ten years ago! Screw Toy Story 3, Chingy's what makes me feel old (but for real, Toy Story 3 was a slap to the face of my fading childhood).

But now that I am an adult who (more or less) knows what good music is, looking back on the Chingy that accompanied my childhood, I now realize how utterly bad he was.

Which is really quite depressing because now I can't even look back at the “good ol' days” while listening to Chances Make Champions, which is even worse than 2003 Chingy.

Straight from the get-go, this mixtape is horrible. Even the title is bad. Chances Make Champions? That's so corny!

And then, right after the intro, Chingy goes into a song called “Go Dumb,” which seems to be exactly what he has done. Chingy is almost incomprehensible throughout the entire song, but when you can understand him, he's spitting lines like, “Wish I shot you fuck niggas.” Oh yeah, that makes sense.

And probably the most fascinating song has to be “Yangin',” simply for the fact that “Ching-Ching” insists he's “yanging on dem hoes,” but I have no idea what the hell that means! According to the always trustworthy Urban Dictionary, yanging is “utter nonsense” or “bullshit.” And if that's the case, why is that something for Chingy to brag about?

Overall, this is just a disappointing mixtape that destroyed my childhood. Just a typical Thursday here at Stack That Cheese!

The Re-dic-yu-lus:

Before I reveal the re-dic-yu-lus mixtape for the week, I feel I need to have one prayer for All Saints' Day. And even though I don't want to mix religion with blogging, I feel it's necessary considering the occasion.

So, if you will, just virtually join hands with me and read along with the prayer.

Dear Based God,

Thank you for blessing us this week with yet another mixtape.

Your words of wisdom blanket me, making me feel safe and warm in your company.

Your brilliant beats remind me of simpler times.

And your swag is so wonderful, that even trying to explain it would be a sin.

So please, Based God

Watch over me,

Grant me swag,

And fuck my bitches.

Amen.

In case you didn't figure it out from the prayer (if you're religious and were offended by it, I apologize), the mixtape that you've been waiting for is none other than:

Lil B – Halloween H2O

I've dreamt of this moment. As soon as I thought of creating this blog, all I wanted to do was review a Lil B mixtape. Just once. And now, in my third blog post, I finally have my opportunity.

For those of you who don't know who Lil B a.k.a. The Based God is, what the fuck are you doing with your life? (I'm not apologizing if I offended you with this. That's your own fault. You're the one who hasn't heard of the almighty Based God.)

Lil B is technically classified as a rapper, but that's of course still up for debate.

He started out his career at the age of sixteen, rapping with a Bay Area group called The Pack. The Pack received a little bit of mainstream success with the song “Vans,” which was even named the fifth best song of 2006 by Rolling Stone magazine.

Lil B broke off from The Pack in late 2009/early 2010. He created over 155 myspace accounts to release all of his music, and just by July of 2010, he had already recorded 1500 songs. It's over two years later and that tally has gone up so high that nobody even knows how many songs the Based God has recorded, not even the Based God himself.

Some of Lil B's most prolific releases are his Flame series of mixtapes, I'm Gay (I'm Happy) (the album that's actually a mixtape), the smash hit "Wonton Soup" and his 855 Freestyle mixtape. And I assure you that is not a typo.

Now, Lil B is a cult favorite of sorts. You won't hear any of his songs on the radio (hopefully), but here on the Internet, they love him. He's even got memes!

And here he is with, according to Wikipedia, his 14^th mixtape of 2012, Halloween H2O. And we still have two more months (swag).

This is just as fantastically bad as everything Based God puts out.

From the ill-timed “Merry Xmas,” which is accompanied by an insanely creepy bass-filled beat that opens with the line, “She get so high when she look in my eyes / And she know that I go through that money in the sky,” to “Layday,” which has a horribly obnoxious beat and an equally horribly sung chorus of “Layday, I tell you 'bout my baby.” (And did I mention Lil B wants to release a rock album/mixtape where he would end up singing?)

And then of course, there's the Based Freestyles at the end of Halloween H2O. Unlike most freestyles, in which rappers come in already thinking of what they want to rap about before they record, Lil B raps with just a stream of consciousness, which is actually respectable.

My favorite of these freestyles is “Halloween Bitches,” where he has such lines as “I fucked a bitch full of money” and “I flex 25 bitches in the summertime / Thirty bitches in the middle of May,” along with constantly saying, “I flex bitches,” despite having a song with that exact title right before this freestyle in which he could have done the exact same thing!

After listening to a mixtape, there's only one thing to say: Thank you, Based God!

-- Xavier Veccia, dropping the mic for now.

@xprime_time

Grand Opening

Welcome to the grand opening of ACRN's Stack That Cheese.

Before I go into the first column, let me just explain the point of this blog.

The name comes from “Hip Hop Saved My Life,” one of my favorite songs on Lupe Fiasco's The Cool, in which a young man escapes the hardships of his life through pursuing a career in hip-hop, which ultimately gets him away from his problems.

One of the most important things for an upcoming artist is to put himself out on the market on a mixtape. It's how rappers get their names known. Whether they hand them out after shows, send them to local radio stations, or just upload their mixtape onto a hip-hop website, most new artists have to start with mixtapes.

And this blog is all about covering those mixtapes. Whether they be good, bad, or just flat out “re-dic-yu-lus.”

Now let's kick this shit off.

The Good:

Cinos - #Chaoscontrol2

I was seconds away from choosing former Roc-A-Fella regular Freeway's Freedom of Speech, which is a good mixtape, when I happened upon Cinos' new mixtape.

Two of the biggest things I look for when searching for new artists to listen to are interesting album covers and album names.

Normally I try to stay away from mixtapes with a hashtag, but I couldn't help being drawn in by the picture that was with the title.

I'm not exactly sure what this drawing including the earth, an asteroid, the moon and a UFO means, but when scrolling down a page filled with covers of rappers trying too hard to look hard and scantily-clad women, something like this instantly stands out.

And as soon as I heard the production on “Black Lantern Zone,” I knew this mixtape was just as interesting as the cover attached to it.

The production throughout all of #Chaoscontrol2 is what really makes it so special.

Most of the production seems to be done by relatively lesser known producers, save a track produced by the always great and always trippy Clams Casino. But they all come through.

“Isis Tear Zone” has to be one of the best of the best produced, starting with a sample from a track off the soundtrack from the movie Final Fantasy: The Spirit Within, an unlikely place to find a sample, but producer 13^th makes it work. The track continues with a unique drum beat, piano and what sounds like a xylophone underneath the verses.

While Cinos' rhymes aren't anything too special, he's still good enough to not take away from the production behind his rapping. The topics he raps about are controversial and he can be a little cocky (“You're now witnessing the birth of a new God”).

The Bad:

Wiz Khalifa – Cabin Fever 2

Wiz Khalifa is one of the hottest, if not the hottest, rapper in the game right now. He's in countless commercials, he's constantly trending on Twitter and his upcoming album O.N.I.F.C. (Only Nigga in First Class) is easily the most anticipated album left in the year. But he's overrated.

Gather around kids, because I'm only going to explain this once.

Back in 2010, Wiz was at the top of the game. He was coming off two very good releases: his second album Deal or No Deal and his critically-acclaimed mixtape Kush and Orange Juice. But the shit hit the fan.

Wiz was signed to Atlantic, started singing his hooks, and hit it big with his number one single “Black and Yellow” as his native Pittsburgh Steelers reached the Super Bowl. This put him right in front of the public's eye. The underground rapper became as mainstream as mainstream can get almost overnight. And it was all downhill from there.

Now Wiz is just your typical stoner rapper, except it doesn't seem like he's even trying anymore.

Take his song from Cabin Fever 2, “Smokin' Drink.” It has a chorus in which he just repeats the title over and over again, and then he opens his first verse by reiterating that “I be smokin', I be drinkin'.”

And then there's “Ridin' Round” with frequent Wiz collaborator and 10Fest ditcher, Juicy J. It features such classy lines as “And I've been shittin' since before I could afford the plumbin'” on Wiz's part and “Make weed disappear, you believe in magic?” on Juicy J's.

Granted, mainstream rappers tend to not go as hard on their mixtapes since they have to focus so much on their albums. So hopefully, Wiz will show up on O.N.I.F.C. and make up for this unfortunate predecessor.

The Re-dic-yu-lus

Mr.44 – Welcome to Ohio

The re-dic-yu-lus category is going to be reserved for just a downright laughable mixtape every week. This doesn't mean it's going to be a big release, just the worst album I could get my hands on from that week.

And this week the honor goes to Mr.44.

Let me just list a few of my favorite lines:

“Bite you quick like an iguana.”

“Call me big papi / Or just holla at me.” (Yes, that's supposed to rhyme.)

“Fool, bless you, like an afterward sneeze.”

“A veteran, not a rookie, homie. I done did it.”

“Mister, mister fo-fo. O-H-I-O.”

“I can hear the money's falling from the street. I'm like zoom.”

“I'm having visions of a black Madonna / But she ain't black.”

And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

There are plenty more crappy lines on this mixtape, and that's the Stack That Cheese guarantee.

Like in the title track, where Mr.44 just starts off by listing the many area codes of Ohio.

Or maybe in “Jealousy & Marijuana” where 44 tells a fascinating tale of “Two women / One named Jealousy, the other Marijuana.”

The beats are cliché, the features are mediocre, and of course Mr.44 is just plain shitty. But hot damn is it grade-A shit. 

-- Xavier Veccia, dropping the mic for now.

@xprime_time