Season 2

Last season on Stack That Cheese: Our main character Xavier Alan Solomon Veccia was busy judging the heroes and demons of hip-hop with his mighty keyboard (which is mightier than the pen, which is mightier than the sword. So, his keyboard is pretty freaking mighty). And then Walt and Jesse got in a fight (in which Jesse dropped the word "bitch" multiple times). Oh wait, wrong show. Anyway, Stack That Cheese is back and it feels so good. Speaking of good...

The Good:

Audio Push - Come as You Are

Audio Push opens up the second season well with a great release in Come as You Are.

Audio Push is a Cali duo credited with the invention of twerking. As an expert jerker, I owe all of my life to these two.

Audio Push brings some great lyricism to Come as You Are. Take the song “Tis the Season,” which features a bass-heavy beat, but the stringed kind, not the boom-boom-bat kind. It gives it an old-school flare, made stronger with the new-school old-school mastermind Joey Bada$$'s feature on the track. Joey is a lyrical mastermind himself--one of the best in the game.

"You're a jerk / I know, girls tell me all the time"

But where Come as You Are really flourishes is in the beats accompanying Audio Push's lyrics. The self-titled first track of the album is the perfect example. The Key-Wane-produced track combines the turntable scratches and vinyl-textured aspects of old with the A$AP-like trippiness and synths of new. Not to mention some nice lines, such as, “I guess we're just outcasts / Can you smell the stank on ya.”

Alice, take a hit of this. We're listening
to Audio Push

And “Rowdy A” has an Alice in Wonderland, Dumbo-like trippy-ass Disney flare with an insanely heavy bass. The Hit-Boy-produced track is an incredibly creative song that stands out in current hip-hop.

But Audio Push can also do bangers, as shown on “Theme Song.” Once again produced by Hit Boy, “Theme Song,” has a slightly creepy piano line mixed with some great bass before breaking down (or breaking up, if you prefer) to a heavy string line. The song also features a catchy verse from TI.

Just about every song on Just as You Are has a creative beat that's perfect for both headphone and riding music. With help from artists like Wale, Lil Wayne, K. Roosevelt and James Faulteroy, Audio Push puts together a great release.

The Bad:

Project Pat - Cheez N Dope 2

If Audio Push rises with the creativity surrounding its beats, Project Pat falters with the lack of it.

When I saw Project Pat's name, I knew I had to get Cheez N Dope 2. I knew I had to check it out. For one, who the hell uses the term “cheese” anymore, let alone this horrible misspelling of it? But more importantly, the only song by Pat I had in my iTunes library was from my days before I became such a hip-hop connoisseur (flips hair). It's a ridiculously bad song called “Don't Call Me No More” featuring Three 6 Mafia.

And Project Pat doesn't disappoint in the slightest.

Most of the beats are pretty basic. With slight bass and ghetto synths, these beats could be just about any other generic rapper's mixtape.

This is shown with some of his features. The song “Gettin Cash” features Juicy J, who doesn't waste any time before promoting his album Stay Trippy. I mean, I guess a shameful promo on another rapper's track is better than his stripper-themed game on his own website. (I lied. The Stay Strippy game is absolutely

perfect.)

But "Gettin Cash" is bad enough that promoting his own album on it might not even be good for Juicy. The beat is tired and the lyrics are way too plain. I mean, with a chorus featuring the line, "I fuck bitches / I bust guns / I sip lean / I smoke down my lungs / But getting cash is what I do best," can you really expect much else?

And that bitch-fucking, lean-sipping smoker theme is found all throughout the album. From the mixtape-opening "Real Killas Don't Talk" to the Wiz Khalifa-featuring "Chiefin." Plus, Project Pat can't seem to spell a word correctly for the life of him, so that doesn't help either.

Pat even squanders a perfectly good opportunity with the song "Weed Smoke" featuring Mac Miller. Mac Miller's one of the most creative rappers in the game right now, but he's forced to rap over another same-old-same-old beat. While the track is admittedly pretty catchy, it still just wastes the talents of Mac.

I think it's safe to say that Project Pat's new mixtape is more Cheez than Dope. *drops the mic* 

The Re-dic-yu-lus:

Pyes - Pyes & Pounds

When I saw Pyes' name, the first thing I though of was pies. But then I decided that no rapper would be so stupid to name himself after pies. And then I saw the album cover with a pie on it. Now my whole world has fallen apart and I don't know what to believe anymore.

Based on my first impression, though, pecan Pyes seems pretty ridiculous. And I LOVE that.

Blackberry Pyes keeps the spelling errors going with the track "Get Enuff." Only when you listen to sweet potato Pyes, it's not surprising he can't spell. According to apple Pyes, "Bitches hate me / Police hate me," but don't worry because it's "coooo." And this is "all cuz a nigga tried so hard / ever since a nigga dropped out of school."

Dr. Seuss ain't got nothing on Pyes

Then comes the song "Wreckless," which features a ghetto-ass beat that goes on way too long (a.k.a. thirty seconds) before cherry Pyes starts rapping. And when blueberry Pyes does start rapping, he becomes a sketchy Dr. Seuss: "Got plenty racks in my safe / Got plenty racks and I pounce / Got plenty racks in my house." And his "nigga" is wreckless because he'll "eat you like wreckless". Ladies and gentleman, Theodor Pyesel.

French silk Pyes continues his horribleness throughout the album, and it's so bad it's honestly great. In fact, I want to thank sweet potato Pyes for starting off the year with a truly re-dic-yu-lus mixtape. He's the reason why I do this.

-X-Prime, dropping the mic for now

@xprime_time