Season 2

Last season on Stack That Cheese: Our main character Xavier Alan Solomon Veccia was busy judging the heroes and demons of hip-hop with his mighty keyboard (which is mightier than the pen, which is mightier than the sword. So, his keyboard is pretty freaking mighty). And then Walt and Jesse got in a fight (in which Jesse dropped the word "bitch" multiple times). Oh wait, wrong show. Anyway, Stack That Cheese is back and it feels so good. Speaking of good...

The Good:

Audio Push - Come as You Are

Audio Push opens up the second season well with a great release in Come as You Are.

Audio Push is a Cali duo credited with the invention of twerking. As an expert jerker, I owe all of my life to these two.

Audio Push brings some great lyricism to Come as You Are. Take the song “Tis the Season,” which features a bass-heavy beat, but the stringed kind, not the boom-boom-bat kind. It gives it an old-school flare, made stronger with the new-school old-school mastermind Joey Bada$$'s feature on the track. Joey is a lyrical mastermind himself--one of the best in the game.

"You're a jerk / I know, girls tell me all the time"

But where Come as You Are really flourishes is in the beats accompanying Audio Push's lyrics. The self-titled first track of the album is the perfect example. The Key-Wane-produced track combines the turntable scratches and vinyl-textured aspects of old with the A$AP-like trippiness and synths of new. Not to mention some nice lines, such as, “I guess we're just outcasts / Can you smell the stank on ya.”

Alice, take a hit of this. We're listening
to Audio Push

And “Rowdy A” has an Alice in Wonderland, Dumbo-like trippy-ass Disney flare with an insanely heavy bass. The Hit-Boy-produced track is an incredibly creative song that stands out in current hip-hop.

But Audio Push can also do bangers, as shown on “Theme Song.” Once again produced by Hit Boy, “Theme Song,” has a slightly creepy piano line mixed with some great bass before breaking down (or breaking up, if you prefer) to a heavy string line. The song also features a catchy verse from TI.

Just about every song on Just as You Are has a creative beat that's perfect for both headphone and riding music. With help from artists like Wale, Lil Wayne, K. Roosevelt and James Faulteroy, Audio Push puts together a great release.

The Bad:

Project Pat - Cheez N Dope 2

If Audio Push rises with the creativity surrounding its beats, Project Pat falters with the lack of it.

When I saw Project Pat's name, I knew I had to get Cheez N Dope 2. I knew I had to check it out. For one, who the hell uses the term “cheese” anymore, let alone this horrible misspelling of it? But more importantly, the only song by Pat I had in my iTunes library was from my days before I became such a hip-hop connoisseur (flips hair). It's a ridiculously bad song called “Don't Call Me No More” featuring Three 6 Mafia.

And Project Pat doesn't disappoint in the slightest.

Most of the beats are pretty basic. With slight bass and ghetto synths, these beats could be just about any other generic rapper's mixtape.

This is shown with some of his features. The song “Gettin Cash” features Juicy J, who doesn't waste any time before promoting his album Stay Trippy. I mean, I guess a shameful promo on another rapper's track is better than his stripper-themed game on his own website. (I lied. The Stay Strippy game is absolutely

perfect.)

But "Gettin Cash" is bad enough that promoting his own album on it might not even be good for Juicy. The beat is tired and the lyrics are way too plain. I mean, with a chorus featuring the line, "I fuck bitches / I bust guns / I sip lean / I smoke down my lungs / But getting cash is what I do best," can you really expect much else?

And that bitch-fucking, lean-sipping smoker theme is found all throughout the album. From the mixtape-opening "Real Killas Don't Talk" to the Wiz Khalifa-featuring "Chiefin." Plus, Project Pat can't seem to spell a word correctly for the life of him, so that doesn't help either.

Pat even squanders a perfectly good opportunity with the song "Weed Smoke" featuring Mac Miller. Mac Miller's one of the most creative rappers in the game right now, but he's forced to rap over another same-old-same-old beat. While the track is admittedly pretty catchy, it still just wastes the talents of Mac.

I think it's safe to say that Project Pat's new mixtape is more Cheez than Dope. *drops the mic* 

The Re-dic-yu-lus:

Pyes - Pyes & Pounds

When I saw Pyes' name, the first thing I though of was pies. But then I decided that no rapper would be so stupid to name himself after pies. And then I saw the album cover with a pie on it. Now my whole world has fallen apart and I don't know what to believe anymore.

Based on my first impression, though, pecan Pyes seems pretty ridiculous. And I LOVE that.

Blackberry Pyes keeps the spelling errors going with the track "Get Enuff." Only when you listen to sweet potato Pyes, it's not surprising he can't spell. According to apple Pyes, "Bitches hate me / Police hate me," but don't worry because it's "coooo." And this is "all cuz a nigga tried so hard / ever since a nigga dropped out of school."

Dr. Seuss ain't got nothing on Pyes

Then comes the song "Wreckless," which features a ghetto-ass beat that goes on way too long (a.k.a. thirty seconds) before cherry Pyes starts rapping. And when blueberry Pyes does start rapping, he becomes a sketchy Dr. Seuss: "Got plenty racks in my safe / Got plenty racks and I pounce / Got plenty racks in my house." And his "nigga" is wreckless because he'll "eat you like wreckless". Ladies and gentleman, Theodor Pyesel.

French silk Pyes continues his horribleness throughout the album, and it's so bad it's honestly great. In fact, I want to thank sweet potato Pyes for starting off the year with a truly re-dic-yu-lus mixtape. He's the reason why I do this.

-X-Prime, dropping the mic for now

@xprime_time

Season Finale

It feels like just yesterday when I emailed my blogs editor about a mixtape review-based blog. Not long after, I followed through with it. It was rough at first. Hell, it still is rough sometimes. But I slowly started building a blog-writing formula that I have stuck with week after week (for the most part). And I've honestly really enjoyed it. But with the school year coming to an end, so must this blog. But come August, Stack That Cheese will be back and better than ever.

The Good:

King Los - Becoming King

Los was a Baltimore rapper who gained a pretty decent following due to his quick delivery and wordplay. But Los is no more. He goes from Los to King Los in a matter of minutes on the title track of Becoming King.

He begins with just talking about his goals, saying, "If I can do one thing in the world, it would be to inspire just one person" as the beat filled with cymbals and electric guitar builds and builds. As he reaches the conclusion, he begins his rap. And right away, the listener just knows he witnessed a transformation from a rapper to a king.

From there on out, King Los just rides that momentum to put together a fantastic mixtape.

While the king could certainly do that on his own, he brings along company to prove just how royal he truly is. With features from some of the biggest names in rap, from Diddy to Wiz Khalifa to Ludacris, it's clear this king has quite the court.

"Disappointed" is the song that features both Diddy and Ludacris. While Diddy's just there for the chorus, Ludacris is there to spit a great verse. One of his best lines is, "I can get a little cocky / Pulling off in my Kawasaki / Thousand dollar bottles of Saki / Taking shots to the head like Rocky." But, just like a true king, Los doesn't get outdone by his guests. His flow is crisp and his lines are empowering, making him stand out the most. "I move different and breathe different / Niggas cut me, I fuck around and bleed different," he says.

Another quality song is "Dope," featuring Pusha T and Yo Gotti. Yet again, the featured artists go all out, showing just how much respect they have for Los. Pusha delivers one of the best verses of any featured artist on Becoming King, saying, "King Los with the king pin / King Push about to king him / King's ransom for a kilo / Took mine and built a kingdom."

But King Los can also put together a great song by himself. "Hard Life" is one of those songs. He does the chorus himself, thanks to a little help from Auto-Tune. But it doesn't seem overdone when Los does it. And his second verse is so ridiculously good it's unbelievable. He comes in hard and quick and continues this pace throughout the verse. It's no wonder he's wearing the crown.

And the production on Becoming King is good, too. But the great thing about it is that it just seems to compliment Los. The listener can't be drawn into the production because he's so busy being drawn into Los.

Becoming King is quite ambitious, actually. Not only has Los taken on a new persona, but he's changed his being. He really is a king now. Los wasn't getting noticed enough, but thanks to Becoming King, it's all but certain King Los will be.

The Bad:

Future & FreeBand Gang - Black Woodstock

I'm not going to lie. I've gone pretty hard to some songs featuring Future. Everytime "Bugatti" by Ace Hood or "Love Me" by Lil Wayne comes on at a house party, I can't control myself. I may start shouting, "I woke up in a new Bugatti." And once I start, I can't stop.

"Hello my baby, hello my
honey, hello my ragtime bitch."

But every time I find myself in this situation, as I'm going HAM as hell, I can't help thinking, "How the hell is this dude famous?" Like, seriously, how is this dude famous? I don't get it. Maybe if he was a rapper and purely a rapper, I could get it. But he's not. That's not his call to fame. He's a singer. But in order to be a singer, don't you need to have a good voice? Apparently not, because Future sounds like a drunk frog and he still manages to do it.

I wish I could say that's harsh, but it's really not. It's the truth. Take the song "Keys" for example. He sings the chorus and he sounds horrible. Like if there was a ghetto karaoke bar, he would be performing there. But that doesn't stop Future. He just shouts out, "I know keeeeys" like it's nothing.

And then he raps the verses, but he's incomprehensible in those. I try to understand him, but I can't. I saw a comment on the album from some random Hot New Hip-Hop member saying that Future sounds like he stole Mike Jones' flow. And I can't help but notice how true that is. But why would you do that? Mike Jones' biggest song is "Who is Mike Jones?" Even Mike Jones thinks he's irrelevant.

This theme continues throughout the whole mixtape. "Take This 4 Granted" is another good example. Once again, Future sings the chorus, but this time, it's even less clear than before. He continues his singing into the verse, but it's still not clear. If you're going to release music, shouldn't it at least be possible to understand you?

But this mixtape also belongs to his crew, who apparently goes by the name "FreeBand Gang." And it's just a collection of people who are even worse than Future. The song "Blow Them Bands" is a song by Stuey Rock featuring Future. I was hoping for this to be good because most songs featuring Future manage to at least get the listener pumped up. But the beat here is just cheesy and Stuey Rock is intolerable. He sounds like a mix between a bad hair band singer and a 14-year-old who just discovered how to use Auto-Tune.

There's also a rapper on Black Woodstock that goes by the name of Casino. He might be one of the better members of the FreeBand Gang, but his flow is basically just him shouting into the microphone. Try listening to three minutes of that.

I don't think I'll ever get the hype behind Future, especially after Black Woodstock.

The Re-dic-yu-lus:

Soulja Boy - Foreign 2

What better way to end Stack That Cheese's year than with Soulja Boy? Answer: probably a lot of things. But Soulja will do.

Soulja Boy's been on Stack That Cheese before, but I spent most of the time talking about his olden days of "Crank That." Now I actually have to listen to it and just make fun of current Soulja Boy. Ugh. 

Soulja Boy's kind of like the human version of Lil B. He shouts out random sylables ("Wah!"), he makes horrible metaphors and he's just laughable. The only difference is that there is no suspicion that he's just joking around. He's completely serious. Which might make him even funnier.

Cake and a pussy. It's Soulja Boy's dream.

Take the song "Yea Yea." I don't even understand where he's trying to go with it. Over a repetitive beat, he just shouts out lines like "SBZ, I should be on the Lakers." At one point he just says, "Cake cake cake / I want that cake, cake, cake." Wait, what?

"Soulja Walk" is another fun song. The beat is better now, with some nice bass and synths that actually make it somewhat tolerable. Until Soulja starts rapping, that is. The chorus just consists of "Walk, walk, walk / Soulja walk, walk, walk" and it goes about 30 seconds too long. And his lines are just plain stupid, like "Shawty right here / All on my pants / Shawty right here / Go and do your dance." And this is all while shouting every one else's catchphrases, like "swerve," "swag" and "turn up."

There is a song featuring Sean Kingston, so that's cool, I guess? If you weren't excited for the "Crank That" nostalgia, then you should be about that "Beautiful Girls" swag. And this song, entitled "Everybody Hoe," is just up there with the sweet songs of Kingston's past, as he sings "That's not your girlfriend / That's everybody hoe." Aww, how sweet, Sean. The best part about Kingston being involved is that it gives the listener a break from Soulja Boy.

This Soulja Boy mixtape was a lot less fun than the last one. I think the further I get in years from "Crank That," the more I hate it. I can't believe I used to like, nay, love that song. I guess we all have regrets. For some, it's that embarrassing bowl cut. For me, it's Soulja Boy. Yah, trick, yah.

-X-Prime, dropping the mic for now

@xprime_time

Post 11Fest Edition

I've mentioned Kendrick Lamar's newest album multiple times on Stack That Cheese. I love the thing. So when I found out Lamar was coming for 11Fest, I just about cried. So, to celebrate his recent appearance at 11Fest, I decided to dedicate a blog to him.

The Good:

Rich Kidd - In My Opinion

When I saw the title of In My Opinion, I was expecting to hear a weak album. The name just screams cockiness and a lack of creativity. And it was by some dude named Rich Kidd, I was even more put off. But then I heard it.

Rich Kidd doesn't have the most meaningful lyrics all the time, but his flow is ridiculous. With a deep voice and a quick delivery, he manages to make every song better.

And that's another thing about Rich Kidd--he self-produced all of In My Opinion. And it's very well produced, taking in multiple different influences to create a clearly unique mixtape.

Take "On My Face" for instance. It has African drums turning to an electronic breakdown before combining both of them. This makes for a crazy beat. It's really just a journey, never knowing exactly what comes next.

This also happens to be one his most meaningful songs, admitting just how hard he's been having it while trying to pursue his career. Really makes me think about his name.

Rich Kidd must've called in the Dream Girls.

Even his interludes are extremely interesting. The interlude "Can't Buy You Love" is probably one of the most intriguing, having a lengthy chorus to begin it with a Supremes-mixed-with-Aretha-Franklin group repeating, "Money can't buy you love." That made me think twice about his name.

Before I listened to In My Opinion, I didn't think I would like his mixtape. How stupid do I feel? Not only was he a pretty creative rapper, but an even more creative producer. And he had great flow and pretty good rhymes, too. Just teaches you never to judge a book by its cover, kids!

The Bad:

Kendrick Lamar - Hub City Threat: Minor of the Year

That's right, Kendick Lamar came out with a mixtape just days after 11Fest. But in non-Kendrick fashion, it's absolutely horrible. It sounds like he digressed to his 16-year-old self again. One of the cans thrown on stage must have hit him in the head and made him a bad rapper.

Psych! While Hub City Threat is a new release from the Compton artist, it's not a new mixtape. This was actually 16-year-old Kendrick Lamar's mixtape that was just discovered and released to the general public. And let me tell you, age has been very good to Kendrick.

You know the song "Backseat Freestyle?" You know, the one where Kendrick pretends to be 17 again and freestyles? And you know how it would be really bad if he was being serious, due to the fact that the premise is that of him being able to "fuck the world for 72 hours?" Well, imagine a whole mixtape of that--a serious 16-year-old being ratchet as hell.

It has exactly what you would expect from a 16-year-old, too. It has a couple songs with the beats from other, more popular songs of the time, such as "Go DJ" and "Drop It Like It's Hot." The latter is actually pretty entertaing, like a more rap-based version of Snoop Dogg's version. But when it features a chorus of "For my niggas that know right, K-Dot is hot," then it's hard to actually take him seriously. 

And his songs are very clearly written by a 16-year-old. They're sex-fueled, alcohol-fueled and drug-fueled, just like any teenager's thoughts.

It's an interesting listen, though. Knowing what Kendrick is now--a poetic master of storytelling--it's astonishing to think that he was once not awesome. And also, with good kid, m.A.A.d city being Kendrick's anti-drug epiphany when he was 17, it gives the listener a look into Lamar's life before it all.

He's actually not horrible, though. As far as teenagers go, he's pretty good. His voice sounds more like a young Juelz Santana and his flow is pretty interesting. It's just unsettling knowing how little of his potential he was living up to at the time. Thank Based God he's living up to him.

The Re-dic-yu-lus:

Young g da beast - The Competition

Names like Young g da beast are exactly why I write Stack That Cheese. It's so beautifully bad that it's perfect. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if there's another Young g da beast out there, which makes it even better.

And it makes me even happier when the rapper is just as bad as his name. And Young g makes me very happy.

Speaking of "Backseat Freestyle," Young g has a cover of it entitled "Backseat Gstyle." What's even crazier than the title is that Kendrick purposefully sucking is better than Young g actually trying. For one, Young g is almost incomprehensible. He also copies a lot of Kendrick's transitions, but just follows those transitions with much worse lines. Such as his line, "I got 25 lighters on my dresser, yes sir / That old-school mix got a nigga feeling player." And that was actually supposed to rhyme.

He also covers Tyga's "Rack City." And once again, Young g is incomprehensible and worse than the original.

But Young g also has some original songs. Such as "mind state og." The beat is alright, but a little too bubbly for Young g's style. Young g's flow doesn't even match up with the song. I wish I could quote a bad line by him, but I don't think you understand how hard it is to hear him. He's that bad.

I didn't really expect anything better from a guy named Young g da beast. Okay, I at least thought he would know how to work recording equipment and wouldn't rap while playing chubby bunny. But no, Young g couldn't even do that.

King Remembered In Time

I'm going to do something a little different this week. Normally, I go over three mixtapes varying in quality in mini-review form. I do this because, while I have respect for mixtapes, I do realize they shouldn't be treated the same as albums. There are exceptions to this rule, though. Joey Bada$$'s 1999 was a major one last year. And this week, another exception has arisen, so I feel it's only fair to give it the full ACRN treatment. I'm going to review it just like any other album, because that's what it deserves.

Big K.R.I.T.: K.R.I.T. (King Remembered in Time)

Rating: 8.5/10

Community used to be something important--it was what people identified with. They were proud of their community and they would do anything for it. At least, that's what our parents tell us. With the rise of the Internet age, community became less about who we lived by and more about who we associated with online.

The same can be said about rap. Community used to be something. It was an influence on rappers, as they based their sound on their community. It was so important to some that they were willing to literally die for it. Now, not so much. Sure, rappers still “rep” where they're from, but it's no longer such a strong identifier. A Bronx rapper could sound the exact same as someone from Compton and no one would think twice about it.

But there are exceptions to the new Internet age. Big K.R.I.T. is one of those exceptions. K.R.I.T. is as Southern as Southern gets and he stays true to his roots, constantly mentioning artists like UGK and Outkast in his songs.

Songs like “Banana Clip Theory” are so Southern that they feature smooth jazz influences. As the saxophones lull the listener into a chill mindset, K.R.I.T. lightly raps over the beat in a hushed voice and lyrics that are as good as anything he's written. As K.R.I.T. raps the words, “Cause if you draw down first you'll be the man / Then you'll pop the trunk and demand / That respect, if they neglect,” the Southern rapper takes an introspective look at how closely assimilated guns and power have become.

Other songs, like “Good 2Getha,” sound very much like Outkast in their glory days, as K.R.I.T. channels his inner Andre 3000 to put together a fun, danceable song that could get anyone in their groove.

What makes King Remembered in Time so good is that K.R.I.T. combines the territorial style of his with that of the new-fangled Internet age.

The song “REM” is one of the most beautifully produced tracks that K.R.I.T.'s ever come out with, as the rapper shows his production chops off (just like he does on all but one song on the mixtape). The beat combines a surprisingly good piano riff, a quick drum beat and a James Blake sample to stand out as one of the best songs on the album. The fact that K.R.I.T. is more than willing to sample James Blake shows just how modern he is.

Big K.R.I.T. proves that he is one of the best up-and-coming rappers in the game. With his complex rhymes, deep lyrics and masterful production, K.R.I.T. manages to blend his Southern hospitality with modern concepts. This helps him become more than just a mixtape rapper-- he's a bona fide MC.

ACRN Week Special

This week, ACRN is turning 42. That's crazy! Forty-two years of music have gone by in the span of ACRN's existence. I've been alive for less than half of that impressive run, and Stack That Cheese has been around for an even shorter amount of time. While it would be nearly impossible to figure out what were the best releases in the span of ACRN's 42 years, it's fairly plausible to be able to do that for Stack That Cheese's run. So, why not do that? Let's look back at the year thus far and hand out awards to the best and most re-dic-yu-lus mixtapes that have been covered in Stack That Cheese.

The Best:

This was extremely difficult to figure out. There have been a lot of quality mixtapes that I have covered in Stack That Cheese's relatively short existence--so much so that I felt I had to split up this category. Because mixtapes can come from much different circumstances, I figured it would only be fair to separate the major releases from the mixtapes that barely made a splash.

The Best Major Release:

OCD: Moosh & Twist - Back to the Basement

This is one of the newest "good" mixtapes and that means that this award could have been affected by my emotions surrounding it being fairly recent. Hell, I'm pretty certain that's the reason I still like this mixtape so much.

But it's still such a good mixtape. I wrote about why I liked it already, obviously. But I might as well explain why it beat out it's biggest competitors.

One of Back to the Basment's biggest competition was Action Bronson's Rare Chandelliers. As I said when I reviewed it, it was just so brutal. And in the best possible way. Action Bronson is just an overall scary person and it comes out on Rare Chandelliers.

This was the hardest to decide. For one, Rare Chandelliers by far has the best cover of any mixtape that I reviewed. How could you not love a .gif for a mixtape cover? Secondly, Action Bronson has one of the best Twitters of any rap artist. His randomness is up there with Tyler, the Creator. However, if the things I remember most about your mixtape are your cover and how it led me to some great late-night tweets, then there are probably some better mixtapes out there.

The other dark horse for this category was Hoodie Allen's return to quality rap on Crew Cuts. This one was much easier because as I was deciding just which mixtape was the best, I realized the song I go to most on Crew Cuts is the one featuring OCD. And if OCD was the best part of Crew Cuts, then a mixtape of only them must be great.

Best Underground Release:

Blake Allee - Televisionn

This one wasn't even nearly as hard. In fact, the reason I made this a category was because I didn't want to try to figure out whether I liked this mixtape better than Back to the Basement or not. It just sounded like a daunting task that I wasn't ready to conquer.

This one is easily Blake Allee's to lose. Televisionn is the most creative mixtape that I've listened to all year. The beats are so different than what anyone else is doing, his lyrics are riddled with clever wordplay and complex rhymes and it has a really intelligent theme.

Sure, there was competition. Rubixx's To the Third and Cinos' #ChaosControl2 were among the biggest standouts. But neither were nearly as creative as Televissionn, along with having their own problems. So, the fake award goes to Allee.

Biggest Disappointment:

Pusha T - Wrath of Caine

I already went over why I didn't like this mixtape all that much, so I'm not going to bore you with me explaining it again.

Instead I'm just going to say why it was so disappointing.

Pusha T has always been a good rapper, going all the way back to his Clipse days. Wrath of Caine, though, was really his first major solo release. After being such a great rapper beforehand, both as one-half of Clipse and in various guest spots, it was expected to be fantastic. Instead, it was just mediocre. 

Now, if this category was the worst mixtape, Pusha T wouldn't be even close. It was probably among the best of "the bad." However, it shouldn't have even been bad. He's better than this. But on Wrath of Caine, he didn't prove it.

Most Re-Dic-Yu-Lus:

Lil Poopy - Coke Ain't a Bad Word

Was there anyone else who even had a chance against Lil Poopy? He's like a mini French Montana who's not even that good at a normal size and after actual experience. That's perfect. The only thing cooler would be if 2 Chainz had a mini-me. Now that would be amazing.

Another thing to say for Poopy is that he got me hooked on these little kid rappers. They're hilarious! Screw Degrassi, little kid rappers are my new guilty pleasure.

Sorry, Drake

Most Based:

Lil B - Pink Flame

Ok, some one could have beaten Lil Poopy out for most re-dic-yu-lus. But that's not fair to Lil Poopy if I put him up against Based God. And I'm not about to pick on a little kid. (It's funny, because by judging an eight-year-old's rapping skills, I am kind of picking on him.)

This might have been the toughest category to judge over all. I mean, how does one even begin to judge a mixtape's basedness?

Well, for starters, it must be by Lil B. That narrowed it down to three.

After that, I was lost. What makes a Lil B mixtape so based? Is it his clever wordplay? His brilliant lyrics? His bumping beats?

After many days of intense thought, I realized that basedness is not a measurable quality. It's something that's just unexplainable, like the size of the universe or whether the chicken came before the egg.

So I left it up for the Based God to decide. I printed out a picture of each mixtape cover and threw them up in the air. And then, Pink Flame was struck by lightning, thus symbolizing that it was so based.

That and "Eat" is one of my favorite Lil B songs of all time. Thank you, Based God.

Based Easter

Easter is an important holiday to many, whether that be because it has an important religious meaning to that person or because Peeps are so goddamned good. To me, though, it's important because there's a new Lil B mixtape out and I love to review Lil B mixtapes. You kids out there can have Peeps and eggs--I'll stick to my Based God.

The Good:

D. Lector - Bars Attack!

Chris Webby used to be one of my favorite rappers. When I used to think I could rap, songs like "Webster's Revenge" and "Temper, Temper" were what I listened to in order to write the best lyrics that my very sub-par skills could possibly create.

But he just hasn't been the same as of late. Bars on Me was a decent mixtape, but it's not nearly as creative as some of his earlier work.

You may be asking, "Why's this dude writing about Chris Webby when this mixtape is by D. Lector?" It's because D. Lector is another Connecticut native, just like Webby. The whole time I was listening to Webby, I thought he was a one-of-a-kind rapper with his own unique style. But it seems his style is more regional than I thought. And with Webby on a downslide, I need my CT fix. Luckily, Lector is just what I needed.

Lector sounds a lot like Webby. They both have that same fast, crisp flow and very similar voices. And they both are very good at metaphors and similes when it comes to rapping. But While Webby is much more focused on wittiness, Lector goes harder with his raps and focuses more on his craziness.

"Lector's quite menacing / Threatening
to eat that venison" 

"Psycho," as the title should tell you, is one of those songs in which he focuses on his craziness. Similar to Webby, he also uses a couple beats made famous from others. "Psycho" uses the beat from 50 Cent's "In Da Club." Lector surprisingly shows up and makes you forget about Fitty momentarily. And his lyrics truly do show his crazy side, as he raps, "So high and fly, man I'm Peter Panning / Eating Bambi / Beauty, I'm a beast with the word play / Trying to three-way with Jessica Rabbit and Ariel, the Mermaid."

The title track, "Bars Attack," is another quality track that shows Lector's skills. The beat is strong, featuring some strings and an ambient sample from Kanye West's "Mercy." One of his strongest string of rhymes is also very appropriate as he spits, "You can see that I'm sick / If not, you piece of shit / Go beat your dick / I'm gonna eat your peeps like it's Easter, bitch."

There's also a fantastic cypher featuring Los Fidel, Kid Karma, Rook and Meta4s (which has to be one of the greatest names of all time). Every rapper shows up and it's a great addition, showing how important lyrics are to Lector.

Bars Attack! is an extremely quality mixtape, as D. Lector uses his CT flow and his knack for lyrics to show that Connecticut is more than just Webby.

The Bad:

Dollabillgates - YSL

It's that time again: Professor X-Prime's Rap 101. This week's lesson is picking a name.

When you're a young wannabe MC, it can be tough coming up with a name. If you ever do make it (you probably won't if you're coming to a blog for advice), it'll be the name that sticks with everybody. 

Some, like Eminem, just make their alias reflect their real name (Eminem = M & M = Marshall Mathers). Others just like to be creative and choose a name that they thinks sounds cool. If you take this route, your name will be even more important, because it reflects what kind of music you make. Hoodie Allen makes pop culture-oriented music that reflects his pop culture-oriented name. And Joey Bada$$ is, well, a badass. 

"I invented Microsoft / You just stroke
your micro cock."

Dollabillgates clearly chose the latter (I'm 99.9% sure this isn't the actual Bill Gates). And when one looks at the name Dollabillgates, one doesn't think, "What a creative name that most likely reflects this young man's originality." Instead, one would more likely think, "I have to see how bad this dude is."

That was me when I saw the name "Dollabillgates." There was no way he could be good. I would bet my life, my future children, even my snapbacks that Dollabillgates was going to be pretty damn bad. And I would have been able to live a long life to see my kids grow old and pass down my old snapbacks to their kids. (Can't wait to see my grandchildren rocking my Seattle Supersonics hat. It'll be even more retro in 60 years!)

Dollabillgates confirmed my suspicions about YSL, which is short for Yung Switch Lanes, on his first track, "Childish." He raps about money just as much as you would expect someone with the name of Dollabillgates to, rapping about how he's "Losing sleep counting guap." But I might have underestimated his badness. I had no clue that I should expect lines as bad as "He has thirty cars / Dayum." Lil B might have competition in this one (just kidding, Based God never has competition).

But DBG certainly gives Lil B a bit of a run for his money on the song, "#LemThurdy." I will give you unlimited guesses to try to figure out what "#LemThurdy" means. No, not thirty lemons. Nor is it a leprechaun named Lem Thurdy. Give up? Here's some help from the chorus. "I don't hit the club until a lem thurdy." You got it. "#LemThurdy" is DBG's way of saying 11:30. 

That's it. I give up. I'm done with you, Dollabillgates. I need more Based God to make me feel better.

The Re-dic-yu-lus:

Lil B - PYT (Pretty Young Thug)

And Lil B with the three peat! The Triple Crown! The trifecta! That first artist to make Stack That Cheese not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES!

Thank Based God, too. Because I have some praying to do to Lil B. If you remember from last week, I was pretty psyched/nervous/freaking the heck out about March Madness. One of the games I was most freaked out about was Marquette-Davidson, a game in which I picked the underdog, Davidson. So what did I do, I prayed to Based God through tweet.

But it went horribly wrong. Read the tweet and let me know if you can figure out what sin I made.

Dear Based God, please let Davidson keep this up right now. I'll even let you fuck my bitch! Just help me out

I know. It's horrible. Inexcusable. Despicable. I said I would let him fuck my bitch. How could I be so stupid? You don't let Lil B fuck your bitch. You hope and pray that he does. So what happened? Davidson lost and so did just about every other team I picked that day. All because I angered the Based God.

So now I must repent. Let me just light my Based candles and put on my ceremonial Based robe before I start the prayer.

Ahem.

Dear Based God,

I can not apologize enough

For the fatal error that I made last week

How uncouth, nay, unbased of me

To give you permission to fuck my bitch

You're above permission

You're above all

From little children to Barack Obama

You're even above Oprah

And here I am

Giving you permission

I would be privileged

If you graced me with your bitch fucking abilities

You deserve better disciples

In your Bitch Mob Squad

So, please, forgive me for my sins

And please fuck my bitch.

Left hand Cyrus, right hand Cyrus, Amen.

I'm hoping the release of PYT is a sign that he has forgiven me. He wouldn't release a mixtape so beautiful if he didn't.

And PYT is quite beautiful. "Alota Bitches" is a feel good track that makes the listener just want to dance and snap his or her fingers. Lil B also shows a bit of his self-conscious side as he asks, "Would you be mad if I said I had 52 bitches," before dismissing it, saying, "I don't care, niggas know I got bitches on my dick." I'm glad that Lil B got out of that five-second funk of his by realizing he just needs to be himself and fuck bitches.

Lil B also addresses the "ratchet" issue that we've all been clamoring for him to do on "Ratchet 510." And just like we thought, he is in support of "ratchet hoes." He also admits, "The parties I like, we dance with guns." As much as I would want Lil B to come to Athens, I just don't think we're ready to keep up with him if those are the kind of parties he likes.

It's really just an eye-opening mixtape in general. PYT lets us get into the inner workings of Lil B's mind and lifestyle, so that we can come to better understand our almighty Based God. And frankly, we as a world need to understand Based God more.

-- Xavier Veccia, dropping the mic for now.

@xprime_time

March Madness

It's pretty hard typing while you're biting your nails. But I'm somehow managing that while both writing this Stack That Cheese entry and watching basketball, hoping and praying to the Based God that nothing will go horribly wrong and ruin my (so far) perfect bracket. There's a pretty good chance that I'll lose a game by the time I'm done with this blog. So let's just get it over with so I can possibly say I made it through a whole blog post without wanting to rip up my bracket.

The Good:

Yelawolf - Trunk Muzik Returns

Yelawolf is probably the most complicated rapper for me. Sometimes, I really love his (trunk) music. "Daddy's Lambo" has probably been one of the most played songs in my car. The bass in that song just gives me a massive...amount of joy.

But then he almost ruined a nearly perfect song on "1Train" off A$AP Rocky's Long Live A$AP. He had by far the worst verse on a track filled with some of the best in the game.

I don't really know what it is. It might be his voice. Or his white trash attitude. Or maybe we just don't agree. But Trunk Muzik Returns is too hard not to agree with.

I think I've come to the conclusion that Yelawolf is just flat out better on his own stuff. If a song's tailored for him and his flow, then he fits perfectly. It's quite difficult to find a song that's very Yelawolf-like. He's got a very distinct essence about him. But Trunk Muzik Returns, produced by WillPower, does a great job of capturing that essence and making it into music.

White guy spitting? He kinda
sounds like Eminem.

"Catfish Billy" is honestly the Yelawolf song. It has just the right amount of creepiness, craziness and trashiness. The beat is mostly just composed of an out-of-tune violin and drum, and it manages to do so much with so little. Yelawolf reminds me a lot of Eminem, and not just because he's another crazy white guy who can spit. But he has such control over his voice and knows exactly when to use it to propel the song. He starts off his verse by narrating with a creepy-ass nasally voice and he raps most of the second verse quickly. He just does such a great job of entertaining the listener with so little.

Yelawolf also manages to get a few impressive features on Trunk Muzik Returns.  "Gangster" features A$AP Rocky, returning the favor from "1Train." WillPower does a solid job of creating a beat that can fit both rappers' styles. When Yelawolf spits his verse, the rickety beat sounds unstable. When A$AP hits the track, the beat may not change, but it suddenly sounds more chill just because of A$AP's voice. It's like an illusion of sound.

Yelawolf also manages to get features from Paul Wall and Raekwon on "Hustle" and Killer Mike on "Rhyme Room." Both are quality songs that, with WillPower's production, complement everyone involved.

Yelawolf's certainly talented. His style may not always be easy to agree with, but when he's synced with the beat, he can be straight fire.

The Bad:

Rich Boy - Back to Class

If you've read my blog since the beginning, or even for a few weeks here and there, you ought to know that one of my favorite things to do on Stack That Cheese is look back on rappers from my adolescence. So far we've touched on some pretty memorable artists, such as Chingy and Soulja Boy. But I just wouldn't feel complete if I never went over Rich Boy.

Honestly, I'm not even sure Rich Boy was that big of a thing now that I look back. He really only had that "Throw Some D's" song that I remember more from almost everybody else shouting "Throw some d's on it" than I remember from the actual song. And the only song I ever really liked was "Let's Get This Paper," which doesn't seem nearly as good now as it did back then.

But then again, Rich Boy doesn't seem all that hot right now either.

I didn't realize how money-oriented Rich Boy's music was until listening to Back to Class. I don't know how, honestly. He's pretty upfront about it. I mean, his name is Rich Boy.

He continues that obsession with money as soon as Back to Class begins. His first three songs, "Get Dat Doe," "Break the Pot" and "Bitches N Bands," are all clearly about money. Even the beats are clearly the kind of beats that would be used in music about money--they go hard, but they're not the kind of beat you'd bump.

Rich Boy is really just a classic "trap" artist. By trap, I don't mean the electronic genre. I'm referring to how he mainly focuses on making money and what he does after getting that money. Usually, it just involves throwing it on women and spending it on unnecessary things.

Even his songs that don't focus on money seem very stereotypical from a rap artist. Take his song "Party," featuring his frequent collaborator Playboy, along with Maja. The beat is actually kind of nice, featuring some slow piano playing. But his lyrics mostly just focus on, you guessed it, a party. When Rich Boy spits, "Turn off the lights / Take it off tonight," he's just using a line that people would expect from any rapper, and he doesn't stand out.

Rich Boy has proved yet again that it's much better just to keep nostalgia over an artist than learn just how bad they are.

The Re-dic-yu-lus:

Young D - Briccs Vol. 3

After listening to Young D's mixtape, only one question came to mind: how the hell were there two Briccs before this volume?

It's a valid question, I swear. He's horrible. And not even in the cool "so horrible you'll laugh" way. He's just an unoriginal rapper with unoriginal lines that are just a little worse than most other rappers.

The funniest thing about Young D is the fact that he just replaces "ck" in every word with "cc." So, to have a little fun with this, I'm going to do the same. Will it be funny? Will it piss off my blogs editor? Do I care? No, yes, and way too much. So let's just get it craccing befor I bacc out. (This is already so fun).

Speaking of using "cc" instead of "ck," Young D starts off Briccs Vol. 3 with "My Chicc Bad." In case you didn't guess it, this tracc samples "My Chick Bad" by Ludacris. And by "sample" I mean he just jaccs the song from Ludacris. Young D does manage to sneak in a couple of goofy lines, such as "So tell me have you seen her / My chicc is like a warrior, something like Xena," but follows those lines with something like "So don't you dare try to fight her / My chicc stay hot, her nickname is fire." And then he passes time with a pointless skit listing the chiccs he has in a high-pitched voice.

If you've seen this chicc,
tell Young D immediately.

"Pain" is probably his worst song. But that's just because whoever the hell is singing the chorus succs. He's completely off-pitch and, just like many bad songs, the chorus goes on for way too long. Don't get me wrong, Young D's plenty bad himself. He's trying to describe the pain of some girl leaving him, but it's in an upbeat song and he's shouting his emotions. Plus, there's a point when he rhymes "running back" with "run back" and "running back" again. There's plenty that this tracc laccs for it to even be in the neighborhood of a good song.

There's also a song called "Necc Breaker" that has a chorus that sounds exactly like he's saying "She's a dicc breaker" instead of "necc breaker." So, annunciation is something else he needs to improve upon.

Young D definitely isn't the most re-dic-yu-lus rapper featured on Stacc That Cheese, but he's also far from the best. If he improved on a few things, he might be able to cracc the bad section next time around, but he would also need a lot of lucc.

Also, in case any of you are wondering, my braccet succs and I hate the world. That's all.

-- Xavier Veccia, dropping the mic for now.

@xprime_time