Second Season Finale

It's been two whole years since Stack That Cheese was born. What started as a way to get involved within ACRN has become a weekly celebration of all that rap stands for, both good and bad. After looking back at the past 40-something posts, I can positively say that STC has really grown and so have I in the process. Thanks to whoever reads this, no matter what your reason.

To celebrate two years of hip-hop reviews, I decided to compile my favorite releases that I have reviewed. After starting with a list of over a dozen memorable mixtapes, I've whittled it down to a mere five. But before we get to those, let's just remember some of the tapes that didn't quite make the cut but were pretty gosh darn close.

Honorable Mentions:

Young Thug & Bloody Jay - Black Portland

I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. Young Thug is one of the most fascinating rumors of recent memory. From the questionable fashion choices that lead to speculation over his sexuality to the constant rumors involving him and Young Money, Young Thug has taken everything crazy about this current Southern Renaissance and made it even crazier. Whether he will continue to remain so interesting has yet to be seen, but one thing is for sure: I'll always love "Danny Glover," and that's a Stack That Cheese promise.

King Los - Becoming King

Los has been one of the most impressive lyricists since he first stepped in the game. However, he never really had that "it" factor. That was until he became King. Becoming King was the first time that Los actually acted like the star everyone always knew he could be. Honestly, if this was a month ago, this would have made it into my top five easily. However, with King Los leaving Bad Boy (again) and releasing a mixtape that dropped slightly in quality, it seems the King still has some work to do before he rules over a court.

Flatbush Zombies - Better Off Dead

This was by far the hardest tape to leave out of the top five. I was accidentally on a real East Coast kick this past September. Artists like MeLo-X and CJ Fly proved how unique the Beastcoast movement was when done right. But no one, not even Joey Bada$$ himself, had as distinct a sound as the Flatbush Zombies. The Zombies managed to create a rap-rock hybrid that always been impressive. Their gritty sound can be matched by few and the fact that they had a Danny Brown feature launched it over the edge. It was a fantastic effort on their part and I can't wait to see what's up next for the East Coasters.

Now, time for the five best mixtapes this writer has ever reviewed. It was a tough list to compile and I'll probably change my mind within a month, but all of these mixtapes deserve praise no matter what.

5. YG - Just Re'd Up 2

I don't know what it is, but I have a huge soft spot for YG, and it all started with this tape.

YG is that ratchet rapper that you can't help but love. Sure, King Los and the Flatbush Zombies have better lyrics, but there's just something about the way YG carries himself that makes him so irresistible. It doesn't hurt, either, that he's got DJ Mustard on his side.

Looking back, this mixtape is even better now than it was back then. Since this tape was released, multiple guest stars have gotten fame of their own, from Ty Dolla $ign to Young Scooter, Just Re'd Up 2 has become a who's who of guest stars.

And then there's how awesome My Krazy Life turned out to be. On one hand, that shows how much better Just Re'd Up could have been, but on the other hand it just makes you like the guy even more. Plus, as much as I love "My Nigga," nothing will replace the pure insanity that is "Make It Clap."

4. Big K.R.I.T. - K.R.I.T. (King Remembered in Time)

As much as this Southern Renaissance in hip-hop is growing on me (I'm even starting to like some Future), there's still nothing better going on in the South than Big K.R.I.T.

K.R.I.T. has long been a power house in the Southern hip-hop community. Ever since he first burst on the scene in 2010, he's proven to be one the most authentic lyricists that hip-hop had to offer. And K.R.I.T. proved that stereotype to be true.

On his self-titled mixtape, K.R.I.T. brought a classic Southern sound that could have easily been on a UGK album. And the lyrics, as always, were spot-on. I'm really looking forward to his next project due out this year, especially since his last one turned out so good.

3. Action Bronson - Rare Chandeliers

Four words: Action Bronson and Alchemist. That's all you need to know in order to confirm this is a good mixtape. Alchemist has this way about him that allows him to make every artist sound good, but Bronson is a whole 'nother story.

What's so amazing about this mixtape is how perfectly the pairing goes together. Action Bronson is one of the most terrifying rappers around, always striking fear into the listener. And Alchemist makes some of the darkest, grimiest beats around. So together, the duo is basically a horror movie with better music.

I'm still embarrassed I didn't name this the best mixtape of Season One. Rare Chandeliers is the scariest form of perfection. Plus, it is the coolest mixtape cover ever.

2. CyHi The Prince - Black Hystori Project

This one is just flat out unfair. CyHi fans and most people in the hip-hop scene knew something like this was possible, but damn does it feel good to see CyHi actually achieving it.

The GOOD Music artist has been making music for a few years now. His Ivy League tapes and his appearances on GOOD Music affiliated songs have especially proven how strong of an artist The Prince was. But nothing he's done has ever been this good. Hell, I would say this has been one of the best releases in rap all year, and it's been a year crowded with quality releases.

The production on this was perfect, matching the mood of CyHi's lyrics exactly on every single song. And the concept behind this album--to pay tribute to the trailblazers of the black community--isn't a new one, but the way CyHi executes it makes it feel as if it is. This guy has to release a record soon or I'm going to go insane.

1. Vic Mensa - Innanetape

Who else could it be?

Vic Mensa's Innanetape was not only one of the best mixtapes of 2013, but it was one of the best releases of any genre. I ranked it fifth among all albums last year and I'm standing by that claim.

Outside of Chance the Rapper, Vic is just about the most inspired young rapper, embracing styles that most other hip-hop artists wouldn't even think of trying. Innanetape is the perfect example of this.

From the funky "Lovely Day" to the bubbly electronic "Run!" From the trappy "Yap Yap" to the soulful "Holy Holy" (which includes an emotional verse from Ab-Soul), there's nothing Vic Mensa can't do. Thanks to him and Chance, Chicago has a bright future that's only going to get brighter with time.

King Mez, Kevin McCall, DOLLABILLGATES

The Good:

King Mez - Long Live the King

Hip-hop has this way of focusing mostly on just a handful of areas at a time. There's plenty of good East Coast rap, but we don't get too far out of New York. Same goes for the West Coast and California, along with the South and the Atlanta area. Sometimes, the only way for an area to get noticed is one superstar breaking out. That's usually enough to make the blogosphere and record companies way too obsessed with said area. (See: Pittsburgh and the Mac Miller/Wiz Khalifa combo)

Looking good, Cole.

Luckily for us, that happened in North Carolina with J. Cole. Thanks to Cole, rap fans everywhere have looked more into the Carolina region. And that's how King Mez came up.

Thank God, too, because this guy is really good. Aside from being the umpteenth rapper with royalty in his name, Mez is easily one of the more creative upstarts in a while.

It's hard to really tell if North Carolina has much of a sound. While New York has that classic chill, drum-reliant sound and the West has the g-funk and ratchet sounds, North Carolina seems too small of a hip-hop scene to truly have a constant theme. But, if I have to guess, I'd guess they like Kanye a lot. From Cole's "Last Call" on Warm Up to the small reference to Kanye's "The New Workout Plan" in Mez's "Flight," when he raps, "What's scary to me." And to this writer, that's one hell of a great thing.

Another theme in North Carolina seems to be sick lyrics. Long Live the King's opening track "Inheritance" starts off with 45 seconds of piano and a female chorus, building anticipation. And then Mez kicks in with "I need a few classic albums and a couple mil before I put my feet up / Just to dust 'em off. I don't recline I keep my seat up." And the crazy part is that he continues that rhyme for most of a verse. Quality lyrics are all over this mixtape.

However, what makes Mez really special is his flow. He has an insanely grimy voice, sort of like a deeper Chance the Rapper. And he has this way of saying words that would make "insomnia" rhyme with "only way." And he does.

Plus there's the production. "Swerve" has this synth-heavy beat that sounds ominous and "Flight" sounds like it's straight off Vic Mensa's Innanetape. There are definitely some powerful samples on Long Live the King, along with classic drum beats that tie the whole thing together and makes it a well-produced tape.

King Mez might have gotten the spotlight from Cole, but he got his talent on his own. And that shines through on Long Live the King.

The Bad:

Kevin McCall - A.D.H.D.

I'm not going to pretend I'm an expert on R&B. I listen it, sure, but it's much more casual than my love for rap. But I do know I'm not a huge fan of when it drifts into super poppy territory.

A.D.H.D. is just about as poppy an R&B mixtape could be without being pop itself.

J. Holiday wants his style back

The entire album is exactly what one would expect from an R&B artist who's not really singing R&B. There are semi-sexy beats and cliché lyrics everywhere. This might not be too bad in 2007, but R&B's currently undergoing a lot of changes with the likes of The Weeknd and Ty Dolla $ign at the helm.

What bothers me the most about this is that McCall knows this. "Smokin Killa" is a low-key banger. It's that slimy shouting-meets-singing type thing that's getting increasingly more popular and more catchy. And the beat is club-worthy with a fun feature from Calico West.

Sadly, there's no mustard on the beat, ho.

Then there's "Yo Chick" featuring Dolla $ign himself. The beat is straight fire, sounding like a DJ Mustard beat made for Future. And Dolla $ign proves why he's the future with an attention-grabbing verse.

But that's about all there is. "Match One"could have been written for just about any mid-2000s singer and most of them would have done it better.

And then "Neva Had A" is re-dic-yu-lus worthy. The video game-like synths are so distracting and McCall just sounds like he's trying way too hard. Plus there are multiple times when he just says "nigga," like nine or ten times within a couple of seconds.

Kevin McCall definitely has potential to be half-decent someday. But the majority of A.D.H.D. fails to show that.

The Re-dic-yu-lus:

DOLLABILLGATES - Lord Lem

I've been stacking cheese for almost two years now, and yet this is the first time this has happened. This is the first time we've had a re-dic-yu-lus repeat for someone who wasn't famous for being bad (Lil B, Soulja Boy and Waka Flocka). I honestly never expected this. I just kind of assumed once they reached Stack That Cheese their career was over. Apparently I don't have as much klout as I thought. Rats.

At least that's what DOLLABILLGATES wants me to think. So, as Supa Hot Fire would say, it's time to finish this man's whole career.

First off, I'm not a rapper. Now, I'ma let DOLLABILLGATES go first.

"I got a whole crowd of niggas wanna see me ball

Put sixes on it, now I'm seven feet tall.

That's a cold-ass truck my nigga.

Do your thing, go and stunt my nigga.

Roll a blunt a blunt my nigga."

You're done. You're done. My turn.

Ok.

Ok.

Ok.

You're DOLLABILLGATES. I'm PESOSTEVEJOBS

Because I'm a Mexican apple. Manzana

But I'm not a rapper. Go ahead.

"When I'm talking silent, man, I mean a whole hunnid.

If I was down to two hunnid, let you hold a hunnid.

Switch lanes, I traveled across the whole country.

How dis young ass nigga spending old money?"

I'm bored. My time.

Eloquent words? I type them.

Noobs on Call of Duty? I snipe them.

Pretty girls? I like them.

Alright, time to end this man's whole career. But I'm not a rapper.

I'm an OCD mouse. I stack that cheese.

I'm so hot I can hotwire this car. No keys.

Pea coat. Wool hat. Shoes. Call me pea coat wool hat shoes man.

I'm rubber you're glue, man 

so every thing you say bounces off me and sticks to you. Man.

But I'm not a rapper.

King Los, Soulja Boy, Waka Flocka

The Good:

King Los - Zero Gravity II

Last year, Los evolved into King Los on one of the better mixtapes of 2013, Becoming King. And following typical Los fashion, the Baltimore rapper released yet another mixtape after big career news. This time around, it's his departure from Diddy's (or Puff Daddy's?) Bad Boy Records.

King Los has been signed to Bad Boy twice, once under Bloc Incorporated and the second and latest deal with Interscope Records. According to Los, this past deal ended because of problems with Interscope, not Bad Boy. But either way, this could mean dire news for Los.

Luckily for the king, it has yet to affect him too much. Zero Gravity II is just about as good as his last.

As always, King Los delivers on just about every verse. The "Control Freestyle" track is the perfect example of this. The Big Sean song turned Kendrick Lamar vehicle is the perfect beat for a lyricist like Los. Changing tempos multiple times and constantly having bars as hot as "I write a verse in reverse that reverses the Earth's spin" make the listener forget this song ever belonged to another spitter. Plus, he proves to be a merciful king, ending the song by complimenting some of the best rappers out there.

And production, per usual, is on point for the most of ZG2. "Hard Time" heavily samples Suzanne Vega's "Tom's Diner" (which can also be heard in Kevin Cossom's "I Get Paper"). The slowed down sample deserves some head-bobbing with every listen and Kobe, Mark Battles and Shanica Knowles stop by for dynamite features.

That being said, there are some slight problems if you're nitpicking. With the Bad Boy breakup comes less connections which leads to less features. On Becoming King, everyone from Pusha T to Wiz Khalifa to Puff himself stopped by for guest spots. Granted, the themes of the mixtapes are different and Los is more than fine on his own, but some of the features on the last go-around were quite entertaining and they will be missed.

And of course, there's the constant problem with King Los: his lack of formula. Los has always been a fantastic lyricist, and it's that skill that allows him to get away with this issue. But if Los would get away from the Auto-Tune-heavy hooks and the heavy use of freestyles over other rapper's songs, he might be able to be more successful. Once again, I doubt that's Los' worry, especially since he just left his biggest supporter in Puff. But it does keep him from reaching his fullest potential.

King Los is hardly in any danger of losing his throne any time soon, even if it has left the Bad Boy Kingdom. He's still as good of a lyricist as ever and will be for a long time. And who knows, maybe the extra creative freedom will lead him to grow as an artist and maybe even release a real album. Maybe.

The Re-dic-yu-lus 1:

Soulja Boy -  King Soulja 2

That's right, homies! We have two re-dic-yu-lus mixtapes this week! Oh my lawd, I'm so excited, not even snow in spring could stop me.

The first re-dic-yu-lus mixtape is almost too old. Soulja Boy's King Soulja 2 was released a week ago, but I'm going to allow it because I love hating Soulja.

I mean, there's just so much to not like! Take the song "In Love With Me." It starts out alright with a half decent beat that I could probably get into if, say, Vic Mensa was behind it. With some decent lyrics and any resemblance of a flow, this might actually be a good song.

But Soulja Boy doesn't have either of those things. Soulja doesn't even default to his go-to yell/sing "flow," but instead just abuses Auto-Tune to the point that the listener can barely even understand him.

Then there's the remix of Drake's "We Made It" just in time for the Jay Electronica and Jay-Z to scorch it in their version. Not even the Drake feature could save this track. The OVO artist is too "Versace Versace" on this one, where Electronica and HOVA are real, unfiltered rap.

And then there's the ultimate piece of Based music: a feature from Lil B. I could write an entire post about this song, titled "I Got That Sack," alone. I mean, Lil B and Soulja Boy? In the same song? It's March! That's way too early for Christmas!

"I Got That Sack" is everything you could ever want from the duo. There's a repetitive beat, plenty of awesome ad libs on Based God's part and the line "Ohio girls make that pussy work the same way." He doesn't even clarify what he means by "same way!" But you got a shout out regardless, Ohio girls, and you should celebrate that!

Sadly, no amount of Based God features could save King Soulja 2. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish Soulja would return to "Crank That" form.

Wow. That's just embarassing.

The Re-dic-yu-lus 2:

Waka Flocka - Re-Up

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Young Thug is on a song! I love him. I love him so much. I can't stop. It's an addiction, I realize, but oh my God, I can't stop. He's gonna save this bitch like Danny Glover! What's not to love!?

Okay, calm down there, Xavier. You're getting out of hand.

Deep breath.

Okay, I'm good. But yeah, this Waka tape is quite a treat. Actually, I do have to say I've grown to like Waka a little bit since getting more into the current Atlanta movement. Don't get me wrong--I still don't really like him by any means (besides the ironic way that makes me seem more hip). But guys like Young Thug and Young Scooter certainly owe guys like Waka for helping develop this new Southern sound.

That being said, this mixtape is still mostly crap. The Young Thug feature, coming in the form of a hook and a verse on "Ain't No Problems," is certainly a bright spot. The song sounds vaguely like Tech N9ne, which has never been quite my style, but is better than Waka's usual sound. And Waka and Thugger have pretty decent chemistry.

There's also "Cook Jug," featuring Young Scooter. And while the beat is as generic as generic can get, one can always count on Young SCOOOOTA to get ig'nant.

But then you're left with songs like "Lottery," where Flocka is alone, and you remember why Waka is reserved for times of ignorance. Somewhere between the multiple "Squad" shouts and the random laser synth, the listener is left wishing there was more Thug or Scooter. Granted, I think that on every song, but especially so with Waka Flocka.

Tory Lanez, Courtney Noelle, Beezy B

The Good:

Tory Lanez - Chixtape 2

What do they put in the water in Toronto? First Drake and now Tory Lanez? Whatever they're doing, they better keep it up. Unless, of course, that means they have to reelect Rob Ford.

Tory Lanez has mastered just about every aspect of hip-hop one could, including rapping, singing and producing. And while Lanez is certainly a skilled lyricist (just check out his "Danny Glover" freestyle), Chixtape 2 is indeed a tape for the chicks. So this is just some get down 'n' dirty rhythm and blues.

Lanez' singing voice sounds like The Weeknd, but his style is more similar to Drake or Ty Dolla $ign. And his beats, all self-produced, vary from bass-bumping to jazz-influenced. Plus, he has some of the best samples of the year so far. With Chixtape 2, Lanez certainly tries to prove he belongs in the same category as the aforementioned crooners, which he does in spades.

All of that All That

While we're on the topic of samples, I just have to go to "All That," which samples the theme song of the same name. Hopefully more than just '90s kids remember the sketch show, but even if you don't recognize the tune, you'll still enjoy the beat.

The bass is incredibly heavy in this slow ballad. Mixed with the demented All That theme song, it stands out as one of the best beats on the mixtape. Plus, there's something about Lanez singing, "These niggas can fuck, but they'll never fuck you like I do" over a childhood memory that feels so good.

Another solid sample comes along in "T.L.C." Once again, the title gives it away, as the sample comes from TLC's "No Scrubs." By slowing it down significantly, Lanez creates a weirdly catchy chorus. The overall production is a bit eerie and Lanez sounds like early aughties R&B, matching the beat. It's a match made in heaven.

On the other end of the production spectrum is "U.N.I.T.Y." Lanez's rhythmic flow sounds a lot like early Drake. It doesn't hurt opening with a line about Texas. But the beat is mostly a saxophone and some simple drums. It's just about as smooth as R&B can get.

Lanez does a lot for himself on Chixtape 2. Even though he didn't drop any bars, he still delivered an entertaining mixtape and proves Drake isn't the only dual threat from Toronto.

The Bad:

Courtney Noelle - Love on the Run

I guess this is just R&B week with Stack That Cheese.

Courtney Noelle is Taylor Gang's residential female hook maker. To be honest, I came into Love on the Run expecting it to be mediocre. Aside from Ty Dolla $ign, I haven't liked anything from TGOD in a while. And considering Noelle is trying to get noticed, there's going to be a lot of Taylor Gang guest spots.

Just like most of what TGOD does, Love on the Run is pretty generic. The beats sound like just about anyone could sing over them, which isn't what an artist trying to break through should try for.

The songs most people will be heading to right away are "You Got Me" and "Just Fuckin," featuring Wiz Khalifa and Ty Dolla $ign, respectively.

"You Got Me" has a kind of string-like beat with some rhythmic guitar that sounds like something Ciara did at the beginning of her career. Wiz starts off alright by Wiz standards, but eventually starts "rhyming" things like "Rasta nation" and "crazy person." Plus, Noelle sounds especially annoying in between Wiz's verses.

Ty Dolla $ign looking patriotic

And "Just Fuckin" just makes me feel bad for Noelle. She sounds better in this song than she did in "You Got Me," but compared to Dolla $ign, she sounds like an amateur. Granted, Ty has emerged as one of the leaders in this new generation of Auto-Tuned crooner, and Noelle is still relatively new, but she shouldn't sound so behind. Luckily, Ty's hook of "I love your body / But it ain't love / We just fuckin'" lasts for most of the song, making it tolerable.

There are some features from Juicy J and Chevy Woods as well, but Noelle does spend most of Love on the Run on her own. But those solo acts are just as bad.

"Fooled" is her single that, to be fair, is one of the better songs on the project. But she's not talented enough to carry a track by herself. She's just average, and that's not enough.

I could definitely see Noelle delivering some catchy hooks on her labelmates' projects, but that's just about all I can see from this Taylorina.

The Re-dic-yu-lus:

Beezy B - Hood University Vol. 1

I honestly have no clue what's going on with this one. Maybe it's my lack of sleep or maybe it's the mugshot looking at me. It doesn't help that every song title looks like it's a file name. All I know is this mixtape is absolutely horrible.

There's a decent chance this mixtape is half Beezy B and half...I don't even know. I just don't know anything anymore.

He didn't do it

The first five songs are clearly Beezy. I think. The standout track is titled "gmb-ent o-j-didnot-do-it." So I'm assuming it's just "OJ Didn't Do It." The beat is just so incredibly bad. There are these horribly mastered bass hits mixed with simple hip-hop sounds that have been done a million times before. And then Beezy just mumbles a hook of "OJ didn't do it" over and over again until you actually believe him.

On the other half, it might be some group called Unstoppable? Maybe? There's this track I'm assuming is called "Free Everybody." It jacks the beat from Childish Gambino's "Freaks and Geeks," which is one of Gambino's best tracks, and they just ruin it completely.

The track opens up with a hook of "Stay swaggin' til they let all my people go" and "Free all my people." And there's not even real rhythm. It's just kind of like saying words as they come to mind.

There is a song called "100s Baby" that I kind of like because it does sound Young Thug-esque. But I can't tell if the hook--which takes up most of the song--is sung by a woman or a pubescent boy. And that's enough for me to hate it.

I just don't even know what hip-hop is after listening to this. I just can't.

Cyhi The Prynce, Buddy, Money EDD

The Good:

Cyhi The Prynce - Hystori: Black History Project

Cyhi The Prynce is so commonly recognized as the most underrated G.O.O.D. Music artist that it's easy to forget he deserves more recognition. If he's getting recognition on the message boards, isn't that enough?

Then you listen to the latest Cyhi project and you remember that he's low-key one of the best rappers in the game and deserves to be treated like one.

Hystori is largely a socially conscious album that pays tribute to great African Americans that helped pave the way for men like Cyhi. What's interesting is that he seems to pay tribute to actual activists through song titles while mimicking black musicians through the production, which was overseen by Mr. G.O.O.D. Music himself, Kanye West.

This can be heard as soon as the first track, "Huey," starts, which sounds like Yeezy got to Hova's "Hard Knock Life." In the song, Cyhi sounds an awful lot like Kanye, especially when he delivers the slightly egotistical bars that you can't even be mad at because they're kinda true, like "So next time you say, 'The A' got no lyricists' / I just think you gotta taste this exquisite shit." Plus, everyone's favorite Chicago gangster, King Louie (they call him Tony), comes through for a downright dirty verse.

"Basquiat" is another clear allusion to black art, both in the physical sense and the musical sense. The beat samples "It Takes Two" by Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock while the lyrics pay tribute to the artistic integrity of graffiti artist Jean-Michel Basquiat. It's an interesting combination and it might be meant to show the difference between the two sides of art. What's really mind-blowing--if it's intentional, that is--is that Basquiat died in 1988, the same year "It Takes Two" was released. Cyhi is a clever rapper, but he's taking it to a whole new level on this one.

Cyhi didn't forget about his ancestors, either, as shown on "Mandela," where The Prince raps over African tribal drums in honor of the late South African activist.

Ultimately, Cyhi compares himself to some of these great activists and musicians. Sure, on paper that sounds like a bit much. But when listening to Hystori, it seems completely feasible. And with Cyhi's first actual album currently in the works, Hystori is just the beginning.

The BadPharrell:

Buddy - Idle Time

Kendrick Lamer, Miley Cyrus, Robin Thicke, Sir Michael Rocks, Asher Roth, Casey Veggies and Freddie Gibbs. What do all these artists have in common? They all probably owe some favor to Pharrell and decided to pay him back by being featured on Buddy's debut mixtape.

That's right--the Compton native is lucky enough to have this all-star lineup on his first ever mixtape. How, you ask? He probably sold his soul to Pharrell. But if Pharrell has taught as anything, it's that being able to work with the Neptune is much more rewarding than any soul.

What's even crazier than the list of features is how long Idle Time has been in the works. Pharrell's little Buddy has been working on this mixtape for over three years. If only Pharrell spent that much time on his hat choices. HEYO! Pop culture references!

That being said, every year was well worth it. Smokey the Bear was able to craft a pop rap masterpiece for Buddy, and that should be huge as the West Coast rapper goes forward.

However, that doesn't mean this is good actual rap. Don't get me wrong, I love Pharrell and couldn't be happier that he has become one of the most influential people in the music industry. But, he's come a long way from the mastermind behind some of hip-hop's biggest acts and has since drifted heavily into Billboard Top 100 territory.

That's all good for Pharrell & Co., but when listening to an artist like Cyhi The Prince right before Buddy, Idle Time seems much too shallow.

"Smoke Signals," which is produced by Pharrell and features Miley, is an extremely catchy song that properly layers the Queen of Twerk underneath Buddy's vocals to give the song a bit of a soulful feel. However, when getting down to it, it's just about getting high with a girl.

These problems become even more evident when Buddy is put side-by-side with hip-hop elites like Lamar and Sir Michael.

"Agitated," which is especially notable for the Cool Kids reunion between Sir Michael and producer Chuck Inglish, just makes Buddy look foolish. While Buddy's rhyming with repetition, Michael has consecutive bars with the same rhyme scheme without repeating himself once. 

And Kendrick's verse on "Staircases" makes the metaphors in Buddy's verse seem like it was written by a child. Hell, Kendrick even spells out his usage of metaphors when he raps, "This rapping's just a metaphor and I deserve a medal for / Writing another metaphor, about ambition," and even that is more complex than Buddy. Lonely Island was a better fit for Kendrick than this youngin'. 

Idle Time accomplishes exactly what it wanted: to be catchy without much effort. And the large amount of features is enough to make the mixtape tolerable. But ultimately, this is more pop than rap, which isn't what hip-hop mixtapes are all about.

The Re-dic-yu-lus:

Money EDD - Scrilla Season

Here's a list of things this mixtape does right:

1. Uses the term "scrilla."

And that's it. I don't know why, but I've always just really liked the term "scrilla" to describe money. Same with "guap." I should really start using them more...

Sorry, I was just trying to distract myself from the actual mixtape, Scrilla Season. Good title, bad content.

One of the things that annoys me most about Money EDD (is it "Ee Dee Dee" or "Ed?") is that he thinks a hook just has to be one semi-cool sounding sentence repeated consistently. This seems to be a problem with a lot of rappers these days, but Double Dee over here takes this to an extreme. Actually, scratch that. He's not Double Dee. If he's anyone from Ed, Edd & Eddy, it's definitely Eddy. He even kind of looks like him. 

Ha! Look at that! I was kind of kidding but he actually does kind of look like an older Eddy. Even the big ears. Now EDDy has done two things right with Scrilla Season.

Sorry, I have ADD when it comes to EDD. Hot damn, I'm on a roll. But back to this whole screaming a shitty hook thing. "Floating" is a good example of this. The hook switches off between "I'm riding around witchyo girl" and one line where EDDy just sings really horribly. And then the verse starts and, to his credit, EDDy does manage some semi-decent rhymes. However, the quality is so subpar and the annoying phaser synth beat can really get on a writer's nerves.

Looking back, this looks kinda weird

And actually, doesn't this whole mixtape kind of look like something Eddy would do? I could just imagine him asking Double Dee to help out with production, but then he'd refuse, so Eddy would go to Ed, but he would do such a bad job that Double Dee would have to step in. And then they'd try to sell it to get jaw breakers, but no one would buy it. Poor Eddy.

Listening to this production, it sounds much more Ed than Double Dee. The beats are usually just a collection of boring synths or overly simple instrumentation. There's also a large amount of really stupid Auto-Tune that this writer can't stand.

Actually, the more I think about this, the more I realize this mixtape is worse than anything the Eds could come up with. Even Plank could do a better job at a mixtape than EDD. Sorry, EDD, but you're not making any scrilla off Scrilla Season. No jaw breakers for you.

Red Cafe, Shy Glizzy & Lil B

The Good:

Red Cafe - American Psycho II

One of my biggest fears as a hip-hop reviewer is a mixtape coming around that makes me look like a foolish hypocrite. If you're a regular viewer of this blog, you know how much I stress quality lyrics. I've put down many a rapper who had a pretty good mixtape, but just didn't have the lyrics to earn my support.

And then there are those mixtapes that overlook lyrics for sick beats, but their production is so good that I can't help but love it. YG and Rockie Fresh both did it in the same week and I still haven't gotten over it. This week, Red Cafe joins them with American Psycho II.

The first American Psycho

Red Cafe has been around for a minute, releasing mixtapes since 2006. Hailing from Brooklyn, he's been signed to Akon and Diddy's respective labels. But American Psycho II is his first release since the first Psycho in late 2012.

The mixtape, hosted by DJ Whoo Kid (whoooo kiiiiddd) and the LA Leakers, seems to meet somewhere in between college and gangster rap. Separately, the two genres are flawed by nature. But together, they're almost too good to be true. So good, in fact, that it makes up completely for Red Cafe's lack of good lyrics.

A perfect example is "I Love This Shit," featuring the king of lyric-topping beats, DJ Mustard himself. In typical DJ Mustard fashion, there's some simple, but banging bass and some hard-hitting horns. It's generic Mustard, but damn, is it bumping. It's enough to make one forget that the hook is repetition of the song's title and the rhymes are made out of single syllables.

Then there's the more college rap side of things with "A World Alone," which heavily samples Lorde's song of the same name. And by "heavily sample," I mean just lay some hip-hop drums over the instrumental. I wish I could use this to fuel any potential anger, but I can't help but bob my head to this. Plus, any rapper who can see how amazing Lorde is automatically earns my vote.

Luckily, I can use the excuse, "Well, he does a lot of great features." This list includes, but is not limited to, Young Jeezy, Akon, Jeremih, Ace Hood, Tory Lanez, Kevin Cossom and Shyne. And that doesn't include the two biggest features on "Boss Bitches and Fast Cars."

The previously mentioned song features borderline superstar Pusha T and the always quality Fabolous. Neither delivers his best verse on this song, but plenty of good lines are dished, like Fabolous' "Walk bitch I'm not the fella for you / I cut a dame off--Roc a fella shorty" and Pusha's verse-ending "Got your feelings crushed like the ice in a blender."

Red Cafe has a lot to improve on if he ever wants to be considered a good rapper. But he's already figured out how to make a good mixtape, so I don't see why he would ever feel the need to actually become a good lyricist. I like American Psycho II, I just hate how much I like it.

The Bad:

Shy Glizzy - Young Jefe

There are the Young Thugs of the world, who find some way to sound amazing by using some off-kilter ad-libs. Then there are the Shy Glizzies of the world, who are modeled off that same mold, just not as good at it.

On Young Jefe, Shy Glizzy seems to try everything in his power to become a Young Thug, but he's just a little off, and not in the good way. And the thing about this new brand of ad-lib rappers is that, when it's done right, it's mind-bogglingly good. But when it's done any less than perfect, the whole thing is ruined.

Isn't Maddy ying beautiful?

One prime example of Shy Glizzy trying but failing to accomplish this near impossible feat is the song "Medellin." The song, titled after the city in Columbia, is filled with random shouts and screams. The chorus alone sounds like "Maddy ying / Maddy maddy yayo." And Shy's verse is filled with "kaw"s and "bring bring"s. And Young Scooter, whose Street Lottery I actually liked a bit, stops by to deliver some help. But because it's not done absolutely perfectly in its randomness, it's not even close to good enough.

Another high-profile trap artist, Gudda Gudda, stops by in "I'm a Star." The heavy-hitting beat is a good start for the egotistically-titled song. And Gudda Gudda delivers a surprisingly tolerable verse. But Shy Glizzy can't do the same. He's got the off-pitch singing. And the sporadic "skirt skirt"s. But once again, it's not good enough.

Young Thug in a dress. Really.

Hell, Young Thug himself even stops by on not one, but two occasions. And there's barely a difference between Glizzy and Thug on both tracks, except for the fact that I can, for the most part, understand Glizzy. I should be praising him for not going so far as to be incomprehensible. But I love Thug. I can't help it.

I wish I had even the slightest idea how to describe what makes Young Thug enjoyable. I'm a failure as a hip-hop reviewer because of it. But Young Thug defies all logic. He plays by his own rules. Not in the cool, lawless way, either--he just doesn't follow rhythm or normal musical standards. I should not just dislike him, but I should hate him. And yet, I'm mad at Shy Glizzy for not being enough like him.

But my love for Young Thug isn't the thing that's keeping Young Jefe from being a quality tape. No matter how you feel about Thug, Glizzy's tape clearly sounds more like an imitator than an original, and that's never how a rapper gets good. He's got some potential to be a good bad rapper, but he has to be original before this can happen.

The Based:

Lil B - Basedworld Paradise

As is tradition, I must pray to He Who Is Based before reviewing a Lil B mixtape.

Dear Based God,

I do not deserve you

You are my savior

My almighty favorite rapper

When 05 Fuck Em was released, I listened to every song wit a smile on my face.

But, when I went to write the review about it, I failed you.

I could not figure out how to describe the 101-piece masterpiece

And so, as Valentine's Day rolled around

I knew I would fuck a bitch who couldn't be fucked by you, Based God.

And, as the prophesy foretold, I did.

But then, just three days later, you rose again

To fuck my bitch

And to become the second-coming of Yeezus

So, for that, Based God,

I thank you.

Amen.

Now that I had the privilege to talk to the holy Lil B, I can move on with my review of the amazing Basedworld Paradise.

I've gone over my obsession with covers before, and this is my new favorite cover. Not just for Based God, but for all time. Let's list what makes this the greatest mixtape cover of all time:

1. Kanye reference

2. Lil B face

That's all it takes.

Now, bad news, Bitch Mob. Basedworld Paradise is only 31 songs. That's a helluva lot less than 05 Fuck Em. But, while it's basically a Lil B version of an EP, it's still damn good.

The first words Lil B says on Basedworld Paradise are "I'm Tupac." Big words for a little B. And it's too bad that they prove to be wrong as the mixtape goes on. Because he's better than Tupac!

Take the song "Bring the Beat Back." Lil B goes about and beyond the call of duty, even rapping words with more than one syllable. He raps "business" with "fitness" and "big tits." #Genius. And then he beat boxes! Sure, he sounds a little like a chicken, but the most based chicken of all time. Just call him Kentucky Based Chicken. Or something else that doesn't sound horrible. I bet Lil B could come up with something clever.

Or "Based Memories," which has production with all the swag of a keytar. Honestly, Lil B can make anything amazing. Young Thug can only work a dress. Lil B could work a chastity belt. The only reason he doesn't is because the laws of Basedianity state he must fuck every bitch.

Lil B is a mastermind. If this doesn't prove it so, then your bitch doesn't deserve to be fucked by the Based God. My Based God have mercy on your soul.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr., Maino & S.M.

The Good:

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. - Produce Vol. 1

Holy crap. This is the best thing that's ever happened to Stack That Cheese. Never did I ever think that I would be writing about one of my favorite indie pop bands in my hip-hop blog, but boy am I glad I can.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. is an indie pop band out of Detroit and just about the last duo one would expect to make a hip-hop-influenced mixtape. Indie pop and hip-hop has long been a common pairing. The likes of Chiddy Bang, Hoodie Allen and even J. Cole have heavily sampled the genre to connect to a larger crowd. And it's not insane to see indie artists like The Neighbourhood go all West Coast on "West Coast." But to see a group so reliant on bubbly synths like Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. turn to hip-hop is a huge surprise.

To say that Produce Vol. 1 is pure hip-hop would just be asinine. Produce Vol. 1 is much closer to Macklemore's brand of hip-hop than Kendrick Lamar's side, but it's still not that close to either. But with a large amount of features from rappers and some clear influence from everyone, from Biggie to Nate Dogg to the Gorillaz, Produce Vol. 1 still qualifies for Stack That Cheese.

Quelle Chris' Ghost at the Finish Line

Where Earnhardt Jr. Jr. accomplishes their goal of reaching hip-hop audiences the most is when they have some actual rappers to help them out. "Old Friend From the Radio" is a good example of how the indie pop duo can do hip-hop without drifting away from the genre they know best.

The song has a beat composed of steel dreams and their traditional poppy synths to give it a Jamaican hop feel. But with Quelle Chris featured on the track, the song drifts into hip-hip territory. Quelle Chris, after an underrated 2013, is perfect for this track. He delivers a quality verse that goes right along with the feel good vibes the duo is trying to get across.

This theme can also be seen with "Curtain Call." Once again, Earnhardt Jr. Jr. has a Jamaican, tribal vibe going on. Asher Roth comes through with a killer quick-paced verse. And with a hook that could have been straight out of Vampire Weekend's self-titled album, the song truly reaches a new level of catchiness.

Gorillaz's Plastic Beach

The Michigan folks also take a White-Pandas-on-steroids role a couple times. Take the song "Beach Boys
Biggie" that, you guessed it, combines the flawless sounds of the Beach Boys and Notorious B.I.G. Earnhardt Jr. Jr. doesn't just leave it as a boring crossover, as they add their own synth pop flare.

I mentioned the Gorillaz earlier as a potential influence for Produce Vol. 1 and that's because they are really one of the few predecessors I can think of for this kind of sound. The Gorillaz accomplished something similar on Plastic Beach, just less indie pop. But the twist that Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. includes on Produce Vol. 1 is by no means a bad one, as the duo creates a memorable genre crossover.

The Bad:

Maino - King of Brooklyn

There's a South Park episode where Stan wakes up one day and starts seeing some of his favorite things as "shit." Like, when he listens to a song he used to like, it just "sounds like shit." It's later found out that this is the result of a horrible disease known as being a "cynical asshole."

Today, I realized I'm a cynical asshole.

I never loved Maino, but I did like a few songs. "All the Above" was a borderline anthem and "Hi Hater" was hella catchy. So, when I saw Maino released a new mixtape, I decided to take a look at the Maino songs I used to enjoy. Well, after many years since my last listen, I can safely say that Maino sounds like shit.

What happened? Suddenly, T-Pain's hook in "All the Above" sounds corny and suffocating. And "Hi Hater" isn't remotely as awesome as I remember. I like to think I've just acquired a more mature music taste. But then I remember I was jamming out to Cashy's "Tyra Dank" yesterday.

But if I'm going to be a cynical asshole, I'm going to use it to my advantage and tear this mixtape apart.

Maino sounds very outdated on King of Brooklyn. And not in the "classics" sense, but the unable to adapt sense. Which makes his claim of being the King of Brooklyn even more outlandish. I mean, Kendrick Lamar is the epitome of a modern rapper and his claim of being the king of New York was received with an insane amount of criticism.

Take the song "Tupac Problem," yet another ridiculous claim by Maino. The beat is boring and repetitive, featuring a collection of rattling hip-hop drums and an incredibly annoying synth piano roll. Also, it's worth noting that if a rapper says he feels like he "got Tupac problems," he shouldn't be starting the song rapping "world" with itself.

Troy Ave

Maino sounds even more like last generation's trash (a hip-hop generation is about five years, tops) when he features young bloods on his songs. "Lights Camera Action" is probably the best song on King of Brooklyn, but that's because it's two-thirds artists not named Maino.

"Light Camera Action" features Meek Mill and Troy Ave. The beat, produced by Alex Cardiak, is significantly better than most of the album, as Cardiak bring epic trumpets and bells to the table. But even when handed potential for an awesome song, Maino screws it up. Not only is his braggadocious verse the worst part of the song, but he also misuses the parts he's given. Troy Ave, who probably has a better claim at Brooklyn's throne than Maino at this point, is probably the most talented member of this cast, but he's forced to do the hook and only the hook.

Looking back, I have no clue why I ever really liked Maino. He's always been a below average rapper and King of Brooklyn just makes this more obvious.

The Re-dic-yu-lus:

S.M. - Select 10

It's just blistering cold outside this winter. People have been getting sick left and right. You have to feel bad for them, sometimes. Especially when that person gets sick right as he's about to record his mixtape.

I'm assuming that's what S.M. had happen to him. I mean why else would he pronounce "five hundred" as "fidehuddid?"

This happens on "500," where S.M. sounds more congested than the Antonio Banderas' Nasonex bee.

This wouldn't be too annoying if he didn't say it over and over and over again. In the hook, he describes everything from his watch to his main bitch to his side bitch as "fidehuddid." This doesn't get any better when the verse starts, either. S.M. is so incomprehensible that I don't even think I can quote him. There's one part where he says something about an onion and how he smells like money (what does that mean?), but that's all I got.

But "500" really reaches its peak in the second verse, rapped by French Montana's Hispanic brother, Taco Montana. Taco is nice enough to give the listener a lesson in math, as he raps, "50 bands on me, that's like fi-hunnid hunnids / My new watch cost ten bands, that's like fi-hunnid double."

Yo quiero Taco Montana

However, a problem arises with Taco Bell's math. You see, if we convert his lyric into some equations with x representing a band, we would get the following:

50x=500*100=50000

10x=2*500=1000

In these equations, x is equal to both 1000 and 100. A typical band is equivalent to $1000 of U.S. currency, so Fish Taco is indeed carrying around fi-hunnid hunnids, but his watch is much more than a mere fi-hunnid double if it does indeed cost ten bands. This makes his wrist accessory quite impressive, but the same cannot be said about Dr. Montana's math.

I guess I should probably comment about more than just S.M.'s congestion and Taco's poor mathematics skills. Basically, S.M. is a horrible rapper who can't be understood. He raps over beats from the likes of Mike Will Made It despite only having 12 downloads at the time of writing, so I'm going to assume he's also a liar. And he also goes by the name 2 Lettaz, so I guess he can count. But he certainly can't rap. Or do math.